there are many frustrating things about this disease - it can take a long time to get diagnosed, especially for those who are seronegative. So many are left to their own devices, with the disease creating more and more damage because doctors don't know enough about blood tests (we have a great post about lab tests and what they mean, including that 20% of people living with RA are seronegative).  There are even some rheumatologists who refuse to diagnose an absence of a positive RA factor, which just boggles my mind (also, it makes me want to throttle people, but let's not talk about that!). it's hard enough too come to terms with having a chronic disease without having to beat your head up against the wall of physician ignorance. That said, coming to terms with the reality can be a very liberating experience - we just posted a link to an interesting article about a study that shows how acceptance can help you get on with your life.  When you no longer stick your head in the sand about it you can focus on how to reclaim your life, making it about you first and the disease second. I highly recommend reading a book called The First Year with Rheumatoid Arthritis - last year, I wrote a post including a review of the book and an interview with its author.  I've had RA for over 40 years and there were things in that book that I found very helpful.

Have you considered counseling? It's normal for people who have a chronic illness to every now and again need a little bit of help in adjusting and developing coping mechanisms. Counselors specializing in cognitive therapy can be especially helpful.  you may also want to check out our area for people who are newly diagnosed - it has a bunch of posts on the various aspects of life with RA that may help you.

First, I ned to give you the links I forgot about yesterday.  The post about blood tests and our area for newly diagnosed.  Sorry about that.  You may also want to check out Arthritis Introspective to see if they list an RA support group in your area.

As for counsellors... they may not know much about living with RA, but in my experience (and I've seen a  few over the years), a good counsellor who does cognitive therapy can go there, even without having had direct experience with people who have a chronic illness. It's a matter of skill - find a good one and they can help you through pretty much anything.

You know, I'm not a big fan of comparing degree of suffering - it invalidates your feelings. Within the context of your life, your experience and your feelings about it are completely valid, as are mine, yet, compared to a child starving to death in Darfur, I'm doing just fine. But that doesn't negate the fact that some days are really hard and much harder than they used to be or the fact that you have experienced real loss of ability and are therefore experiencing real feelings of grief.

The good thing about having lived with RA for over four decades is that it gives you perspective. RA comes and goes, it ebbs and flows and there are good times and sometimes bad, but throughout it all, life still happens and you live it. Hopefully most of the time, good medication will help you live your life with your RA muttering in the background.

Although I'm not a big fan of comparing "degrees of suffering", I am a big fan of shooting for the moon. I think it helped that my parents always expected that I would do my best, while still accommodating my disease. It meant that I went to university (I have a Masters degree in social work), I've worked in corrections and human rights and I am now pursuing my lifelong dream of being a writer - one of things I do is work as Community Leader for this site. I'm going to give you another few links - first to a post about working with RA that has links to resources about accommodation. According to the Americans with Disabilities Act, you are entitled to be accommodated in your job (e.g. by different ways of doing your job, flexible work hours, working from home, etc.) and that could be a great help to people with RA. Also check out my interview with Gayle Backstrom, author of I'd Rather Be Working - it's a terrific book about working when you have a chronic illness that includes a very interesting process called "Rethink, Refocus, Retrain" that can help you figure out where you want to go next in your career. You may also want to check out the post I wrote on going back to school, which also includes information about the accommodations you are entitled to within the educational system (e.g., longer time for exams, extended time to do your degree) that can make it easier for you to complete a degree. And lastly, check out my recent post about expectations and shooting for the moon. It may take you longer to get there, you may not go in a straight line or do it the same way as other people, but achieving and fulfilling dreams is definitely possible.

I think you may have misunderstood me - although it's not a bad idea to keep perspective, I actually think a nice go around with some self-pity can be helpful. You have the feelings of sadness, anger, etc., you have reason to have those feelings because it within the context of your life, there are real issues related to the RA and taking some time to experience these feelings can help you work through them so you can move on. However, I usually tell myself that whereas I shouldn't wallow in self-pity, it's okay to take a good swish in the self-pity pool in it every now and again! Write angst-filled poetry, have a good cry with some chocolate and then dust yourself off and get back to living your life.

Living with the unpredictability of this disease can be very difficult - I call it living under the shoe (as in, waiting for the other shoe to drop). You have to live with a sort of willful blindness, and assume that you'll be okay, live as if you'll be okay and in every now and again, when the RA flares up, you deal with that and when you get out on the other side, you go back to what you were doing. It means you do it in sort of fits and starts, but the important thing is that you do it, right?

I would love to hear more about your art and I bet other users would find it interesting and possibly inspiring, as well. I'd encourage you to write a SharePosts about your experience with RA in how you continue to create and be an artist.

Absolutely! You're in control, no matter how good or how bad it gets. I'm going to refer you to one more of my posts I wrote after reading a brilliant quote by Michael J. Fox: "I don't have a choice of whether or not I have Parkinson's: I have it. But other than that, I have a thousand choices, and I can't let myself be sunk by the weight of that one non-choice...". When things are hard, I read that quote and remember I have many, many choices.

I just checked your post and I do remember reading it. I'd still love to hear about your art, though.

Happy Thanksgiving!

I'm very sorry to hear about the death of your grandfather.  Losing someone close to you is never easy and I hope you and your family can remember him with love and telling great stories about him.

No rush on the SharePosts -  do it when it feels right to you.

Thanks for saying that!  It means a lot to me if I can be of help.

The best advice I can give you is to speak to your rheumatologist about another medication. There's a reason they say absolutely, positively no alcohol with methotrexate and if your lifestyle makes that impossible, switch medications to stay safe and healthy.

Please understand that I'm not making any judgments about your lifestyle and neither should your doctor. It's important to have a life when you have a chronic illness - it can't all be about RA, because that's a surefire recipe for depression. You have a well-established life that gives you pleasure, which will help you get through the rough spots with RA and that includes your wine club and the good news is that there are a bunch of treatment options for you that will allow you to drink in moderation. Also, one of the benefits of a glass of wine is that it's a wonderful painkiller/muscle relaxant, as well as having been proven to be good for your heart.

In terms of your decrease in levels, to be honest, your doctor is a better person to ask about implications of that test result.

Good luck! Please let us know how things go? Down the line, if you're up to it, would you consider writing a SharePost about this experience? There's so much focus in our lives on medication and treatments that we often forget that the rest of life have to be lived, as well and I think it would be interesting for our users to read about your choice.