there are many frustrating things about this disease - it can take a long time to get diagnosed, especially for those who are seronegative. So many are left to their own devices, with the disease creating more and more damage because doctors don't know enough about blood tests (we have a great post about lab tests and what they mean, including that 20% of people living with RA are seronegative).  There are even some rheumatologists who refuse to diagnose an absence of a positive RA factor, which just boggles my mind (also, it makes me want to throttle people, but let's not talk about that!). it's hard enough too come to terms with having a chronic disease without having to beat your head up against the wall of physician ignorance. That said, coming to terms with the reality can be a very liberating experience - we just posted a link to an interesting article about a study that shows how acceptance can help you get on with your life.  When you no longer stick your head in the sand about it you can focus on how to reclaim your life, making it about you first and the disease second. I highly recommend reading a book called The First Year with Rheumatoid Arthritis - last year, I wrote a post including a review of the book and an interview with its author.  I've had RA for over 40 years and there were things in that book that I found very helpful.   Have you considered counseling? It's normal for people who have a chronic illness to every now and again need a little bit of help in adjusting and developing coping mechanisms. Counselors specializing in cognitive therapy can be especially helpful.  you may also want to check out our area for people who are newly diagnosed - it has a bunch of posts on the various aspects of life with RA that may help you.