You are definately right.  Someone always has it worse.  I do keep that in mind when I find myself loathing in self pitty ( a bad day).  I guess although I have been living with RA for years, possibly since childhood, I still feel I need more information about my illness.  I have always been a questioning student.  I want to learn all I can to help me understand what is in store for me.  My last most recent flare was unbearable, 9 months of hell.  My knees were so swollen I could hardly walk 20ft. without shutting  down.  I spent most of the time in bed with my legs elevated.  After injections and about a month of PT, started to feel a little better.  In fact a lot better.  I am moving aroud just fine.  I have RA in all of my joints but for some reason it hung on in my knees forever.  It definately was a very dark time for me.  THIS is what I fear the most.  Starting something and not knowing when or if terror may strike again where I can't walk.  I will definately review all of the posts you sent me and keep my illness tucked away.  I have a BFA from youngstown state.  I am a professional artist and use every joint in my body to create.  Just don't want to start something and have to take a nap for another 9 monts.  Little fearful but I think somehow I must try.