I did create a shared post back at the beginning of the year.  I was so optomistic that I would tackle this illness no matter what came my way.  Little did I know it would tackle me first.  As the illness lyes dorment under my shoe,  I fear when it will drop.  I really have to stop living in fear of the next flare.  I really appreciate your approach on things.  I am first, and RA can wait.  I should just go for whatever I dream is possible.  We do only live one life and there are so many things I haven't accomplished.   This thinking does feel so much better than worry and concern.  I am not being blind though, only living for today.  Maybe I'll redecorate my home, re-painting all of my walls, new window treatments, artwork and all.  NA, my hubby would kill me, for I just did all of this 3 years ago, while in remission.  But the thought of doing what I would like to without the RA burden in the back of my mind feels less restraining.  I know I make the decisions while I can and RA is just along for the ride.