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Tell them it is not just arthritis but an auto-immune chronic debilitating chrippling disease with no cure. That sounds bad but with proper medications, exercise and less stress it can be controlled. It is important to have someone to talk to who understands. I have joined cafemom.com which is an online support group for ladies with RA. Many have asked the same question you did.
Mom's dealing with rheumatoid arthritis
Take care and if I can help let me know. Bon