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Hmmm.... I'm really not sure, but if someone else knows the answer, for God's sake let me know!!  It really is a sad irony that the people whom we most need to understand and be supportive are sometimes the most clueless.  I will say in my personal situation, time itself has helped. My husband's initial response scared the crap out of me. He was himself in denial and got borderline nasty with me whenever I wanted to even talk about RA.  Thank God he has since come around. Still, truth is family also go through a grieving process with our disease as well.  Trying to push them past whatever their own stage of grief happens to be in order to have them "catch up" to ours is tricky business.    Right now I have an aunt and a husband who are with me, and two sweet little kids who do their best.  My father in law just last week asked me if I was done with the meds yet and if I'd gotten this "all cleared up" now.  I wonder if he's under the impression I have some wierd veneral disease or something!  The rest of the family just thinks I'm being a huge drama queen and that REALLY hurts.  Right or wrong, with them I'm just kind of giving up.  I don't have much energy as it is, and what little is left is far too precious to spend beating my head against a wall.  Frankly, I suspect the harder I would try, the more credence I'd give to their "drama queen" theory anyway!   The ones who want to understand will read stuff and ask questions and actually listen to your answers.  The rest.....you may need to determine how hard you want to try.  Still, give it time!  You may find people you never expected who can pleasantly surprise you too!