Susan, my mom has RA and now I am possibly facing the same fate.  She has been living with it now for over 35 years.  She never attempted to collect SSD, but doesn't blame anyone else for trying.  She was in remission for a 15 year stint until a few years ago when the FDA removed liquid gold from circulation, basically.  It has taken her a few trials, but she is very happy with Enbrel.  She said it's the best she's felt in a very long time and gets rare flare ups and when she does, they don't last very long.  Your husband might resent you for it, sure, but he may need to be reminded of a few things.  You didn't sign up for this, either and also, the vow is "in sickness and in health."  May God bless you and place healing hands on you at your point of need.