This is my fault because I keep it to myself.I need to do something now! It's taking over my life.I've never experienced this before.I've made plans to see my Dr.soon.It's taking alot just to admit this.Put it on the back burner and smile motto.Now I hate this motto.I just found this site a few days ago and I don't think it was by chance.I really need some imput.
Q: I'm starting to experience Overwhelming Depression.
Answers (4)
9/ 1/09 5:00pm
I'm so sorry Eli, I too was in your shoes less than a year ago. The RA diagnosis hit me like a ton of bricks and came less than a year after losing my father (I'll always believe in my heart that his death is what brought on my RA). But anyhow, I made a decision to live (and be happy) with God's help (I give all the credit to him). I contacted my EAP (Employee Assistance Program at work) and met with a counselor for a few weeks. She was a tremendous help and helped me realize that happiness starts from within. So, I started working on ole "self", realized all the blessings in my life, and focused on surrounding myself with positive thoughts and positive people. Then we finally found the right medication for me (I take weekly injections of Enbrel and it's worked wonders). So, here I am, 14 months after my diagnosis and I feel like my old self again. God has really blessed me, waaaaay more than I deserve! I'm just so thankful for everything he's given me and I even have a grandbaby on the way. My heart goes out to you and I hope you find the peace you so deserve (it all starts with God, I promise you)! Sometimes it just helps to talk so I'm here for you. God Bless!!!!
8/27/09 7:31am
Eli, I know that hearing this may or may not help- it may have both effects- you are not alone in your emotions. RA can feel like something that comes in and robs you of everything you thought you knew, leaving you standing without enough oxygen in your lungs to continue on, and feeling like no one in the world understands.
In my small time with coming to terms with this i too have felt completely isolated in the world, doomed to a handicapped lifestyle and a solitude i did not ask for. I have been so sad i couldn't find the tears and felt that i had no one to turn too.
What i have found to help me the most...is communication. Talking to others with the disease has helped me the most- more on line rather than in person ( i live in a small city that has very limited RA pts that are under the age of 75).
Now I don't have the cure all answer- as i still struggle with depression related issues with the disease. But what i have found works best for me, is removing myself from the issues the hinder me. I am blessed enough to have a job that allows me to see the human being at its worst and at its best. I have been able to watch individuals overcome horrible things, and others take their last breaths. What i can say to you is this, (take it for what you will)- This will not kill you, this will not take away your mind or your soul- in the grand picture for whatever reasons you have been afflicted with this terrible disease- pull from your insides of insides and try to use this struggle as a benefit for others. The sun will come up tomorrow- the seasons will change- this flare up will end, and another will come. What has helped me is starting a journal of something positive i do for someone else everyday- or even for myself...whether it is as simple as opening a door for an elderly couple, or comforting a friend in heartache. Dont be afraid to write in your journal all your fears and your upsets, dont be afraid to curse and vent within the pages, it gets it out to a silent ear to that you don't have to keep it in, but don't have to voice it to others until you are ready. Don't isolate yourself alone in your bedroom, force yourself to get up and take a walk, even if it hurts, or go to a coffee shop and read a good book. The world is a huge place, and even if we limp we still are allowed to see it.
Your Ra will not go away, there is no cure, and it sucks to the end of the world that we have it. It is not fair, it hurts in a way others don't understand, and people don't know how to help. All of these things i am sure you are all too aware of, but the thing that RA can not do is take away who you are. You are that child with the fond memories, you are the laughing teenager, and you are that beautiful person who knows that they need a little extra help to get over this. You are the person who can go outside and still see the beauty around you whether it is a grandparent and a grandchild taking a walk or the sunrise that kisses the day with its early rays. The simple things, the neutral things are what help me the most. I do best when i see proof that life is continuing on around me despite my sorrows, all i have to do is place myself back in it.
Acceptance is not a one day, or one pill away thing- as i myself am learning it is a life long journey with an unknown destination. Dont be afraid to voice your uncertainty with your doctor, he/she should be one board with you. Don't be afraid to ask for help, and never ever be afraid to just sit down and cry.
I hope this helps you some, these are just the things that have helped me ease the sorrow- each person has to find their own way- i hope this helped some. I wish you the very best and will keep you in my thoughts - good luck hun!
8/27/09 5:01pm
Hang on. Antidepressants really help. I had nearly paralizing depression long before the RA and it can be just as disabling. It really helps me to remember that sometimes when I'm angry, miserable, or despairing, it is really because my brain chemistry is off. Even medicated, I still have bad days, but at least I don't have bad months any more.
9/ 2/09 3:33am
Please, do go see a good doctor . Be careful of some of these anti depressants as they had my husband wanting to blow his brains out. yahoo and read about them. also read on yahoo and everywhere else how a lac mukof salt is causing depression. Yes a simple thing like salt for PTSD Yahoo sodium chloride and any disease or depression and you will be shocked. drinking water especially a lot of it washes all the salt from your body as does sooo much jogging and exercize yahoo and read about the mess we are in today healthwise. God help America good luck
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By Eli L.— Last Modified: 12/07/10, First Published: 08/27/09
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Thank you so much for your encouraging words.Its been 5 years since I've started treatment and I always thought that I've dealt pretty well . I realize that I need to STOP keeping this to myself.I have a wonderful family that are very supportive and would do anything for me ,I just have to let them.I saw my Dr yesterday and referred me to someone to talk to. He's PA ,one of the most amazing people I know said that she will start a talk circle in my Remicade clinic next week.