How do I deal with my co-workers not understanding about RA and exhaustion?

I'm sorry that your co-workers are not being more supportive of you and the battles you are fighting.  I have had to deal with a bit of the same situation.  In addition to RA I have chronic migraines which have gotten much worse in the past year or two, as a result of RA (in fact it is what helped lead to my diagnosis).  I am a very tender-hearted person and it hurts so bad when people don't empathize (or at least pretend to) with the pain and fatigue I am experiencing.  I have had to learn to just prove myself when I can be there, so they know that I am still committed to my work.  I try to not focus on my health while I am with them, even though it is always forefront in my mind.  I believe that for a lot of people, they feel like they need to have some commentary when they know someone around them is struggling with something difficult.  When they don't truely understand, it tends to come out in a manner that is hurtful and poor.  Also, just like you and I get weary from the pain and fatigue, they get weary of not knowing what to say.  Sorry for the long post.  Don't know if it will help you, but know that there are others who care and wish you the best!

I've enjoyed "educating" people about my list of medications when I get those kind of responses.  You might try something like, "Well, being in the working world for over 30 years I've gotten pretty good at "pushing through" exhaustion too. But now that I have a progressively debilitating and disfiguring autoimmune disease, I'm taking X, Y, and Z (with a side of (i) to offset the side effects of Y), YEAH...things are a little more challenging.  In addition I'm trying the herbal supplements I, V, and XI which are supposed to have good results but the diarrhea is KILLER!" 

For whatever reason people seem to make the connection that you aren't faking when your pill box is the size of a Rolling Stones road case.  Perhaps you could sprinkle all your empty prescription bottles around your cubicle.  You could even fill em up with Menthos or Altoids or something!  Then you make your hands shake a bit and chug a few down in front of them when they say stuff like that.  (Side effect....MINTY FRESH BREATH!!)

I'm on the Meth and I really like telling people it is actually a chemo therapy drug.  People seem to get that. Aside from those suggestions, I have to say I have really very little tolerance for that brand of intolerance.  I'm pushing 40 and have a solid history of working my ass off behind me so I figure I've earned some slack.  I'm thinking at 50 you have exactly 10 more reasons than I do to flash a "get off my back" pass. 

All else aside, if it helps to hear someone else confirm that they are being a bunch of dinks, let me assure you....they are being TOTAL dinks!

     I'm very sorry to hear about the reactions from your coworkers.  I have been hiding my RA from my coworkers for several years now and it has been getting harder and harder to do so.  I wish people would not make asumptions and be so bold as to comment on them, when they have no idea what they are talking about!!!  Education is the key, but how do you educate all of them? 

     Stay strong, and keep in mind that all of us know what you are going thru and sympothize with you pain and struggle to keep working.  And always remember,..."Mean People Suck!!!"

While I don't have RA, I do have degenerative disk disease, fibromyalgia and osteoarthritis throughout my body. I have managed to hold down a full time job for years and when people make insensitive comments when I come dragging in so tired I can barely move or when I have to use my cane, I just ignore them. They are well-meaning ignorant people who haven't a clue about what they are talking about. I used to try educating them but they don't get it, or don't want to, and since I need all my energy to get my job done, I don't feel it necessary to waste energy beating my head against the wall of ignorance. Just smile, say thank you and go on about your business. It removes the stress of dealing with them and we all know how stress can affect us. Take pride in your determination to continue as normal a life as possible. You deserve a medal for bravery and strength.

When they say they get tired but they just push through it, then respond with:    "Imagine how tired you sometimes get, then imagine your tiredness increased exponentially to the power of 100."

When someone tells you they have RA but it doesn't bother them much, tell them they are lucky, that it affects some people mildly but there are degrees of disability with this disease.  Remind them, too, that if they are not working with a rheumatologist now, where their disease is mild, that it could get much worse, so they should be proactive in managing it. 

My husband has had this miserable disease for 25 years.  He was having a painful flare when he had a job interview.  It is difficult to find a job after age 50 these days, and no one will hire you if they think you lack energy and are old and arthritic.  I told him to lie and say he was playing basketball with the neighborhood kids the night before and just over did it a bit.  At least they would think he was young and vital enough to play bb.  How sad, though, that you have to lie about these things.

On a brighter note, he has been on Humira for two years, and he is doing very well at age 62.

  Hi Sandi and Judy,

    Thanks for your comments and emotional support. I am learining to be a little tougher skinned and trying to ignore the clueless people.  God bless you for showing you care by posting a comment here.  Mel

First off, I want you to know that I'll be praying for you.  I am 39 and have had this disease for the past 10 years.  It is so hard at work for people to understand that I just keep to myself nowadays.  6 months ago, I had to make the tough decision to step down from my management position to a direct service person where I work with developmentally disabled people.  Not only did my pay get cut, it's been hard to just be "staff" instead of one of the higher ups.  I walk with a limp now because I'm in almost constant pain; there are times when I feel like I'm 90 years old.  Yes, I agree that you feel exhausted because I do too.  I don't ever feel refreshed at all, just always tired.  My appearance has changed alot over the years because sometimes I just hurt so bad, I don't care how I look.  I think you should try and get past what they say, especially the person who says they have RA, she/he needs to be blessed that the disease hasn't hit them as hard as it hit you yet.  One thing I have done is give my closest co-workers information on this disease and I have found people on utube.com describing the disease that I have emailed to people.  I'm sorry I have written so much, I just feel for you and know what you are going through.