I've enjoyed "educating" people about my list of medications when I get those kind of responses.  You might try something like, "Well, being in the working world for over 30 years I've gotten pretty good at "pushing through" exhaustion too. But now that I have a progressively debilitating and disfiguring autoimmune disease, I'm taking X, Y, and Z (with a side of (i) to offset the side effects of Y), YEAH...things are a little more challenging.  In addition I'm trying the herbal supplements I, V, and XI which are supposed to have good results but the diarrhea is KILLER!" 

For whatever reason people seem to make the connection that you aren't faking when your pill box is the size of a Rolling Stones road case.  Perhaps you could sprinkle all your empty prescription bottles around your cubicle.  You could even fill em up with Menthos or Altoids or something!  Then you make your hands shake a bit and chug a few down in front of them when they say stuff like that.  (Side effect....MINTY FRESH BREATH!!)

I'm on the Meth and I really like telling people it is actually a chemo therapy drug.  People seem to get that. Aside from those suggestions, I have to say I have really very little tolerance for that brand of intolerance.  I'm pushing 40 and have a solid history of working my ass off behind me so I figure I've earned some slack.  I'm thinking at 50 you have exactly 10 more reasons than I do to flash a "get off my back" pass. 

All else aside, if it helps to hear someone else confirm that they are being a bunch of dinks, let me assure you....they are being TOTAL dinks!

     I'm very sorry to hear about the reactions from your coworkers.  I have been hiding my RA from my coworkers for several years now and it has been getting harder and harder to do so.  I wish people would not make asumptions and be so bold as to comment on them, when they have no idea what they are talking about!!!  Education is the key, but how do you educate all of them? 

     Stay strong, and keep in mind that all of us know what you are going thru and sympothize with you pain and struggle to keep working.  And always remember,..."Mean People Suck!!!"

When they say they get tired but they just push through it, then respond with:    "Imagine how tired you sometimes get, then imagine your tiredness increased exponentially to the power of 100."

When someone tells you they have RA but it doesn't bother them much, tell them they are lucky, that it affects some people mildly but there are degrees of disability with this disease.  Remind them, too, that if they are not working with a rheumatologist now, where their disease is mild, that it could get much worse, so they should be proactive in managing it. 

My husband has had this miserable disease for 25 years.  He was having a painful flare when he had a job interview.  It is difficult to find a job after age 50 these days, and no one will hire you if they think you lack energy and are old and arthritic.  I told him to lie and say he was playing basketball with the neighborhood kids the night before and just over did it a bit.  At least they would think he was young and vital enough to play bb.  How sad, though, that you have to lie about these things.

On a brighter note, he has been on Humira for two years, and he is doing very well at age 62.

Oh my goodness.  I am sorry that this is happening with you, but grateful that I am not the only one.  I am sorry, not grateful that you too have RA or that you too have insensitive and ignorant coworkers.  I have had RA for 6 years.  After a whole year in remission, the symptoms came back with a vengeance.  I am a registered nurse, surrounded by critical care nurses and doctors.  I hear the very same comments.  Actually, my boss a master's prepared RN and a said to me "you don't seem happy here.  Over the past few months, I don't think I have seem you smile".  On the contrary, I love my job, and up until all of the comments such as "maybe you should think about disability" (because my flare continued for months) or comments between them "do you think so&so can handle that assignment?"  Before they knew that I had RA, prior to my most recent flare, they loved me.  I have had educated nurses ask me if I thought it was anxiety that is causing me to be so sick, no energy, vomiting, 10 pound weight loss, and multiple swollen joints.  I am at my wits end with this.  I have even had people ask me "have you taken some ibuprofen?" I take 800 mg ibuprofen three times per day.  I don't know what to do.  On the one hand, it is presumptuous for me to think that anyone really wants to know.  It makes me so angry, and though I think that I am a kind and caring person, I can't help it... I secretly wish it were they dealing with this than me.

I am sorry that you are going through this and I am even more sorry that I have no suggestions for you.  My plan is to attempt again to hide this disease.  I am hopeful that I will go into remission with my new cocktail.  I know that pretending it does not exist is no solution at all, but I have learned my lesson about being open and honest.

Kim

8/ 2/11 3:25pm

Yes, unfortunatley being open and honest does not seem to work well, even when you work with supposedly caring healthcare professionals.  I worked in graduate medical education (residency administration) primarily with doctors and residents.  Every evaluation I ever had was positive and noted how hard I worked and how knowledgeable and helpful I was.  You may notice I am using the past tense.  That is because once I asked for an accommodation I was also subjected to questions about my ability to handle the job.  I am now in the waiting game of EEOC charges.  I have had to really examine what I can do and what I want to do for the next 20 years of my working life.  I've decided to seek a part-time position that will leave me more energy and not necessitate me revealing that I have RA.  In the meantime I'm also looking into volunteer work because I know that looking outside myself is often helpful.  It is scary, but for me a fresh start with newly gained insight into how others react to coworkers with a disability is a healthier path than trying to restore my reputation and regain my dignity at a toxic and mean-spirited workplace.

I pray that you find a healthy, peaceful solution to this very unfair situation.  Please know that I believe in your abilities as a nurse and that you ARE a caring and capable professional.

I am sorry to hear what you are experiencing, as I experienced it as well.  I, just like an earlier post, worked for the same company for 7 years and always received great reviews on my job performance, etc.  However, once I was diagnosed with Fibro and RA, all that changed.  I had a boss who believed that no matter how ill you are, you should come to work.  Well that is great for him, but I couldn't do it and it started affecting my duties. Even though each day I took off was in my 20 allotted PTO (personal time off) days, I was released due to excessive attendance.  

I didn't tell my boss that I had Fibro and RA right off the bat when I took my management position, but I know if I had, I wouldn't have gottten the position, instead I just got fired for being ill.  So, I don't know what to tell you as it is a very personal decision whether or not to disclose your illness, but I can wish you luck.  Just remember, not everyone will understand, no matter how much you try to educate them, but you know what you can and cannot do and that is what matters. 

Good luck!!!

P.S.  I was diagnosed at 37 and will be 42 next week, and it took me a year and a half before I needed to file for FMLA and was fired for it.  Good luck!!!