Being Canadian, I don't know a lot about the American SSD system, but I did a little bit of research.

First, you can go to the Social Security website - they have a section containing what they call "disability starter kits" which will provide you with information and forms that will help you through the process. You may also want to pop by your local Social Security office for more information. I also found a website created to help you through the bureaucratic jungle and it looks very helpful. It has answers to a number of questions about the Social Security disability benefits and the first question deals specifically with the definition of disability - you can read more about that here. At the bottom of that page, there are links to advocates available for free and help with claims should you need it.

I'm concerned that you're skipping doses of Enbrel. I understand that you're short on money, but taking Enbrel as prescribed may give you the ability to work and not taking it gets you into a vicious cycle that'll guarantee your RA will be active and may cause damage to your joints that can't be reversed. The drug companies have developed programs offering financial assistance to people who can't afford the medication and you may qualify for help there (click here for a list of programs and contact information).

I would also recommend that you go back to you rheumatologist and have a very frank conversation with him regarding your limits, both physical and financial. It is your doctor's responsibility to treat your disease to the best of his ability in order to keep you from becoming permanently disabled and his reluctance to get you on disability probably stems from that. To be honest, it is also in your best interest to do whatever you can to avoid becoming permanently disabled. However, the fact that you are so sick that you had to quit school and work and can barely meet your responsibilities at home indicate that your disease is not well controlled. Please make an appointment to see your rheumatologist as quickly as possible and tell him everything. You may find it easier to have this discussion with your doctor if you bring someone with you who can offer moral support, like your husband, another family member or a friend. It is very possible that your doctor will be able to help you get the medication you need, whether that's Enbrel alone or in combination with something else or perhaps another form of biologic drug and he may also know of funding sources or drug trials where you can get the medication for free. Your doctor is there to help you get back to living your life, but he won't know what you need until you tell him. Don't be afraid to cry in his office to make sure he understands how desperate you are.