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I blamed myself at first. After research and talking to my doctor, I began to realize a few things. First of all, this was not my fault. It was something that had just happened. Second of all is that yes, I will be on disability, but that does not mean I have to stop living. Third, I didn`t give up, I had to set my mind to overpower this. My family and friends are a great support, which you need right now. Talk more to your doctor and let him/her know how you are feeling. The blame game will go away once you realize that it is not your fault. I have had RA for 20 yrs. now, I did the blame game also... the why me game... and pushing friends and family away because I thought they wouldn`t understand. RA is hereditary, some people it flares up on and others can go their whole life without it flaring up. Once you have it under control with Meds, you can work but with limitations, which depends on the severity of your RA. Do not give up and let the diease control you, you can control the diease. Think possitive, have a good attitude and you will see a change, there will always be the ups and down days. You will see more ups than downs when you stop blamming yourself. Talk to your doctor, they can help you understand more about RA