Coping Skills - #5A - Don't Compare Yourself with Others

Robin thank you so much for this post. I can relate to comparing myself to others. I've done that for so many years that I lost sight of who I really am. I will start to find myself and become the best me I can.

Sincerely,

 Dave

Robin. Your editorials are both pragmatic and insightful, which is the best of combinations. Thank you for sharing.

All of us can be champions by being our personal best. I espouse that tenet also.

Social Worker

  Well put Robin.  The destructive, competitive workplace effects so many people today.

  I was in sales for a few years and it was running wild there.     We had to compete with each other and we all wanted to be like the boss.        Maybe the problem lies in the deep-rooted profit motive in western society that encourages competition in the workplace.      

        I know from experience that I am comfortable in volunteer work, but feel stressed when business rears its ugly head.

  I do believe. though that some role models are good.     A son might want to be like his Dad. And I think some comparisons to yourself can be healthy.        In choosing a trade or profession ,knowing someone dear to you with the same persuasion could help you make the right choice.

  However, as you concluded, the real comparison has to be yourself and I think that's a difficult one for some people .      For example , if you are depressed ,

 how do you compare and create realistic goals for a person you can't hold a candle to?

That's all from me ,

Don Fraser

Wow, this is a difficult one.  There are many good role-models out there.  My mom used to encourage me to read a lot of biographies of the positive role-models, but she hated it when any of the books brought up something negative about the person.  She said, "Why do people always want to bring the hero down to their level?"  Well, I have discovered that the truth is: they are on our level.  They may excel in one or more areas but they are only human.  Just like me.  Even Mother Teresa's diary revealed that she was not always sure of her faith or the true nature of God.

For a long time (about 13 yrs) I have not been in touch with my creative side.  I used to excel in art, music, poetry.  Then after medications and ECT I no longer had an interest in any of them.  I still don't, most of the time.  But my family and friends have kept hounding me constantly to teach art again, to write new music, and even to find a new creative outlet.  Where I have excelled in the past, they think I should have brought all of that into the present and into plans for the future.  It just didn't happen that way.  I think it is rather unfair to be compared to my former self now that my interests and abilities have changed.

What saved me from castigating myself for being an "underachiever" was realizing that I show an exceptional aptitude for courage.  I can look back and be amazed at myself, that I was able to pull myself up from some netherworld of psychosis and actually get somewhat back on track.  Maybe that track is heading in a different direction now, but I like it.  I like the fact I have grown much more empathetic and compassionate towards others who suffer.  I like the fact I no longer place all my life's emphasis on being superior in all pursuits.  I can relax and be comfortable in myself, no longer cloaking myself with achievements but with being relaxed and receptive to whatever life offers.  I like myself SO MUCH BETTER now than I did back then.

Carolyn