Coping Skill #16 - Verbal Curling: Tips for Conquering Small Talk

Once launched, a second member of the team runs ahead of the stone with a broom, sweeping away anything that might alter the course of the stone, or sometimes, deliberately trying to change the direction in which the stone is traveling.

If the truth were known, I still hate cocktail parties, but I've figured out a way to survive the torture.  When attending cocktail parties these days, I play the role of the second player in curling.  I try to alter the course of the discussions among the men, not by running ahead with a broom, but by asking leading questions.  When I first started this "game", I would occasionally "slip on the ice and get clobbered by the stone", i.e., my questions led the discussion in directions that I did not intend or want, but this soon became a rare event.

What made this whole exercise fun was the fact that no one ever figured out what I was doing.

Trust me!  I am not delusional.  Every one knows you can change the direction and content of verbal discussions through interactions with the other participants.  In fact, most people do it all the time without even thinking about it.  With Verbal Curling, you simply intervene deliberately with the concious intent of moving the discussion in one direction or another. 

Remember, when talking with someone for the first time and forever thereafter, if you ask questions about the things in which that person is interested, if you let them pontificate, they will go away liking you and thinking you are a smart and interesting person.  If you ask questions about an interest of theirs about which you know nothing, they will find you astute and take pride in the fact that they could "educate" you.

Although this coping skill requires practice to perfect, it is easy to learn by simply trying different types of questions in different circumstances.  The possibilities are endless and the process entertaining.

Verbal Curling involves a form of Active Listening coupled with deliberate intervention on your part.  See my blog entitled Coping Skills #2A - Active Listening.

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Please remember, this writing reflects my own experience and opinions.  If you, or a loved one, are experiencing the symptoms of schizophrenia, or any other mental illness, you should seek professional assistance.