CHOICES II-0 - Starting Over

I started a series of blogs entitled Choices in Recovery on September 23, 2007.  This series was interrupted by a long series of blogs on coping mechanisms, another on finding and keeping a job, as well as various ad hoc blogs on special topics.

Given all the interruptions and entanglements above, and on the advice of my readers, I've decided to revisit the series on choices in recovery.  I'm calling this series CHOICES II.  This series will take a different tack.  It will focus more on the choices we actually can and can't, and/or do and don't, make in dealing with schizophrenia. It will involve less theory and more reality.  In addition to many other topics, it will take a fresh look at coping skills and job hunting, all from a more practical perspective.  The following is a restatement of my objectives.

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Vincent Van Gogh, when a resident at the psychiatric asylum at Saint-Paul-de-Mausole wrote the following to his brother, Theo, in a now famous letter [Arles, c. 21 April 1889]:

"As for me, you know well enough that I should not exactly have chosen madness if I had had a choice . . ."

I've met no one with schizophrenia who would disagree.  Not one!  This serious brain disorder can rob us of choices that others take for granted, choices we'd come to regard as our birthright, and can force yet other choices upon us that often involve trading one form of agony for another.

Yet, in many respects, it's the choices we make, and why we choose as we do, that ultimately define who we are.  It may be a cliché, but I've found it true, that difficult choices can make us stronger and more resilient.  I've also learned that our suffering can make us more understanding of others, perhaps more compassionate.  In my view, the choices we're denied, and the agonizing choices that we're forced to make, in striving for recovery from schizophrenia, add dimensions to our personalities and insights into the human condition that others would covet if they only knew.

The fact that we have schizophrenia may also deprive others of choices they have taken for granted, and force other difficult choices upon them that they never envisioned.  If we are fortunate, we have caring family and friends.  Sometimes we forget that our illness can be devastating for them as well, especially if we do not realize we are ill, or if our schizophrenia turns out to be treatment-resistant.  This illness can rip healthy families apart and leave voids in the lives and hearts of family and friends.

Making the right choices is at the very heart of recovery from schizophrenia.  And we must make a great many of these along this difficult road.  We didn't choose to develop schizophrenia and cannot be held responsible for our misfortune.  But many of the choices leading to recovery must be made by each of us alone.  For these, we can only hold ourselves accountable.