CHOICES II-14 - A Subtle Form of Stelf-Stigmatization

For my last SharePost, submitted on 28 December, 2008, (www.healthcentral.com/schizophrenia/c/100/53657/ii-13-consumer ), I submitted a poem entitled "WARD 7N," which I believe touches on self-stigmatization and forgiveness in consumers and asked that visitors read and tell us what this poem says to them in the form of a comment to the SharePost.

Don Fraser wrote two comments and Carolyn [DCROY9633] wrote another.  The entirety of their remarks can be found at found at www.healthcentral.com/schizophrenia/c/100/53657/comments.

In part, Don wrote - "I found myself asking the question, is the author perpetuating his own madness, or is he actually giving us a glimpse into his world?" . . . "I, as the reader, am taken from hell to heaven in a few lines and really don't know where he {the poet} is at the end.  In his second comment Don adds "I just wanted to add that I feel self-stigma is not a part of this poem.  I feel strongly that the author has a right to express himself and that anything that comes from creativity should not be associated with stigma of any kind."

Carolyn observes that "poetry is one of my best outlets for self expression.  When all other forms of creativity {had} left, I still could write poetry.  Some of it is pretty scary stuff." . . . "In fact, the worse I felt, the more I was compelled to keep writing."

Now I will throw in my two cents.  The poem comes in three parts of two stanzas each and each part tells us several things about the poet and his thinking.

In part one, the poet reveals his illness and the fact that he is receiving intensive treatment.  He also indicates that the treatment is, at least in part, successful ["They bring capsules of hope / That keep my demons at bay."]  But then he adds in the second stanza, that despite what his providers are doing, he does not believe they understand very much, if anything, about how he is experiencing his illness.  In other words, they have little empathy.

Implicit in the first two stanzas is the fact that the poet realizes he is using up, or consuming, valuable resources, that he is a burden to others.  The reader is left to wonder if the poet is making a contribution to society in turn.  Perhaps the only thing he could contribute at the time he wrote this poem was the poem itself.  [Carolyn, does this make sense to you?]

In the second section of the poem (stanzas three and four) the poet opens up about how he is experiencing his illness.  And in the lyrics of an Etta James blues song, "I've {He's} got it bad / And that ain't good."  He reveals that he is terrified, that a "horror permeates my {his} soul."  He also makes the assertion that he is alone, all alone, indicating at the same time that this perception is a delusion.  But why would he invest his time and energy in maintaining such a delusion?  Is he trying to escape the fact that he is a burden to society?  We'll probably never know.