CHOICES II-14 - A Subtle Form of Stelf-Stigmatization

In the first four stanzas above I think the poet is experiencing a very subtle form of self-stigmatization.  He may not be blaming himself for having developed his illness, something we all understand, but he may be experiencing some guilt, or self-blame, for his lack of functionality, i.e., for his use of scarce resources without providing society with something of value in return.  I believe this subtle form of self-stigmatization may be widespread among consumers and perpetuated unwittingly by others.

In the last two stanzas, the poet indicates that he longs for peace, which he, in all probability, has not experienced since he became ill, but is afraid of what "peace" may mean for him.  He is stating that his illness has been so all consuming that he has come to identify himself in terms of that illness and is afraid that there may be nothing left of him if the agonies of his illness are abruptly removed.  This is a terrifying form of self-stigmatization that consumers create for themselves without the help of others.

The poet seems to be caught between the devil and the deep blue sea.  He cannot muster the courage to make his escape even as he describes exactly what is required for him to find freedom from his agonizing situation.  He simply needs to forgive himself for the pain he has caused himself and others, and then to start anew.

If you have time, please comment on the above.

For this week, if you are so inclined, share your thoughts, in the form of a comment, about the quotation below.

" To one who is mad, the world is still real, but it has a new meaning; people are real too, close and powerful and perhaps dangerous, but among them all, the individual is alone.  This is the essential feature when we penetrate insanity.  Not that the world is less with us, but that another world pervades it too, and we, seeing and experiencing life on a different plane, are cut off from communication with the sane around us: the sane and blinkered folk who do not see and must not know or would never believe the vast, vital, urgent and perhaps cataclysmic truths of which we, alone among them, are aware."

                                                                                                                                                                            ----- Morag Coate