I marvel at the honesty and wisdom in this interview, at the survivability of a child, even facing all of this. It's amazing what you and your Mom went through trying to make it each day. It a beautiful, bittersweet story. I think your Mom would be proud of the way you tell it.
She was lucky to have you, and you probably were her grounding, her reason to try as much as she did.
I agree though, that when I was young the terminology used today, was completely absent, even in school, certainly not used at home. There was no explanation for people with mental illness, except they were, please excuse me, they were referred to as crazy, if at all. That was the term used for unusual behavior that was not understood. And children were often given little instruction but to, stay away from certain people.
Thanks Paul
It was extremely difficult but this is life...things happen...mental illness happens. You are right...we didn't have the words for mental illness or they weren't taught to us. I think I was around 9-10 when I sort of understood the term "schizophrenia." It was used so inaccurately by people...as in someone having multiple personalities.
I really appreciate you reading this and I hope you stop by the depression site as I have interviewed Christina about schizophrenia and depression. She gave a very informative and enlightening interview.
This being a medically biased web site on what are spiritual afflictions, I do not expect many believers here, except those sufferers, as to what I am about to write.
You all really need to focus on religious History.
You can't sidestep the real reason and root cause.
Science can not answer much about the brain. Chemical imbalances can not be proven to be the cause. Psychiatry uses notions, concepts and ideas.
There is no Psychiatic cure because there are no facts in Psychiatry that are proven by scientific theory.
Scriptures are strewn with events that afflicted people with so called "mental illness', but this has been manipulated in Western Society, to become an assumed chemical imbalance problem, rather than simply embracing the FACT that demons do exist and do dwell in those that commit SIN.
The typeset of those that dictate what adhd or add or bipolar or tri polar or quad polar affects us, (they are just names made by mere man) are those that use "Kiddology" and hide behind Governmental bodies and authorities and astronomical pay packets to drug your little children one day........
No one wants to get blamed for issuing legalized toxin drugs, but as these legal drug pushers say, " I don't know if you know, but I only work here ".
Psychiatry is Pseudoscience and is no less damaging than Hitler's tactics on prisoners.
There is alot of truth in what you say John, and of course SIN is a terrible thing. However my question is how many of us are sinner's, all as far as I know so of course the question I next need to ask is, Why then are only some affected by this disease and not the entire population if the only consequence of SIN is this disease?
When I last read the bible, God tells us that the wages of SIN is DEATH but then of course you need to define what death means to you or of course more importantly what it means to God. As far as I have read it is seperation from God and therefore being a christian would mean trying to get the relationship back with God and to have a living loving relationship with him which of course we can do threw his son Jesus Christ.
I do believe there is a core "arrangment" between governments and mental illness as to who gets the money for these drugs in the end. But to tell my brother than he has paranoid schitzophrenia because he is a bigger sinner than me would be a complete lie, instead I choose to remind myself that God died for me and him and everyone else on the cross and therefore when I ask for forgiveness ALL not some of my sins are forgiven but then of course I still have to deal with the consequences of my previous actions which may of lead to this disease or many other things not going right in my life but it makes it much easier with the knowledge that God has given me his Grace in order to deal with and do what I need to do.
I hope you get to experience God's grace in your life God, it is an amazing gift that only he can give us, have an awesome day!
If we are talking about depression linked with spirituality, religion or sin, it is likely that the person afflicted is dealing with the sin and dysfunction around them. Sensitive people suffer because they see what 'normal' people around them do every day. Many businesses do more harm than good. People close their eyes, hearts and minds to whatever they are participating in that is wrong in order to make money. At least drug dealers are honest about what they are doing and you know to avoid them. Business people, politicians and, yes, big Pharmasecutical companies make money from people's suffering.
We suffer because we have eyes to see, ears to hear and hearts that feel. It's those who judge, point fingers and kicks those who are suffering that are sick. TRULY. Being here in this world is excrutiating because of ignorance and greed that comes off as being 'just business' - or us and them religious thinking.
I know how that goes when all your distant family kinda just blocks you out. My mother too is SZ and her obsession is me. She thinks that everyone is out to get me and will follow me everywhere and spend that night and thinks all my friends and boyfriend are evil and such and it doesnt help she does hard drugs like crack. She has little moeny and hospitals cost too much and she wont go b/c they just give her a bunch of drugs and zombie her out. I'm just getting worn out, i mean everyday it's something. It's a full time job and I'm just trying to look down the road.. I'm 23 now and I cant see a solution. I can't see her just turning normal and i don't see how i can live a sorta normal life and eventually have a kid if I'm constantly being her caretaker. I mean, me and my b/f have even tried a 10:13 but the judge says she wasnt crazy enough. I mean, she's threatened to kill my b/f and came close to killing my previous b/f a few yrs ago. Sorry if i just kinda spat out all at once but any advice would be MOST helpful!!!
keep exaggerating the threat that she's tried to kill your boyfriends. document with the police every violent outburst. create a running log of incidents a mile long.
The option of last resort is a mental health warrant. you get a lawyer your mother has a lawyer and you meet in court to try to get her court mandated to stay in treatment.
This is the option when all else fails.
Christina
What a blessing it must have been for your mother, MerelyMe, to have a daughter who was so understanding. I mean, there must have been times when you did not know how to deal with her illness or when you regretted a response you gave, but you seem not only have weathered the situation well, but you were able to give your mother some stability and support even in your early years. I have wondered what would have happened if I, having schizophrenia and depression, had had children to raise during the roughest times. People are so quick these days to call Child Protective Services and remove them from any kind of problematic situation. Like your mother's sporadic med comliance. I can relate because I have cut my meds in halves and quarters many times and lived with the subsequent relapses. And who can say I would have done differently if I had been raising children? She provided the best home she could for you in the best way she knew how. No one is perfect. My own dad suffered horribly from a very negative, depressed way of thinking and never would have dreamed of seeking help or support. And if he didn't pass it on genetically, he certainly passed on many bad memories. But not everyone in my family was left scarred by it as I was. MerelyMe, I'm glad you can see positive outcomes as you reflect back on your childhood.
While I was in the middle of dealing with both sz and depression, it was hard to think of anything positive that might result. But now that I have come out on "the other side" there definitely are things I learned that will serve me well in the years to come. Like "keep trying and you'll find a way." Like "have courage to move forward even in the dark." Like "be willing to be your own best friend by doing what is best for yourself." And also "helping others helps you, too." I would be a much more shallow person, perhaps, if I had not dealt with sz and depression in these ways and developed the self-knowledge necessary to love others.
MM, thank you for being willing to share. It not only helped me, but will help many others, I'm sure.
Hey Donna
Just wanted to say thank you for commenting and that I really appreciate your insights on both MyDepressionConnection as well as this site. You are right...my mother did the very best she could have despite all that she was coping with. She did have three children (my half siblings) who were taken away from her following a break down and they went on to live in foster care and...it was a very bad situation. Somehow when I came along...the system allowed me to remain with her and I am so grateful that they did. As difficult as it was...she is my mother and I did not want to be separated from her. I don't know how we managed but we did somehow.
So glad you had the chance to read this interview. Hope you will also read the interview I just did with Christina for the depression site.