SZ is something I contracted at age 17..Lord knows why. In the early years it was a curse, something that all looked down their noses at. I thought that I had an imaginary tattoo "schizophrenic" on my forehead and all that saw me knew it. Thankfully I had many great mental health workers who helped me erase that "tattoo."

I have lived with SZ my entire adult life. I have accepted it. It isn't a curse anymore. I believe that I was given SZ because I could handle it.

Recently I spoke in front of my church and told them I was in the hospital. I didn't say why. Afterwards a church member asked why I was in. I remarked plainly and simply "schizophrenia!" Later on he came up to med and said "Ya know Dave when I asked why you were in the hospital you could've said it better." I replied "Why? Am I supposed to lie?" I am NOT ashamed of having SZ. Would it be different if I say diabetes? It wasn't asked for but still was given to me. Most of the church members know I have it and accept me.

I am also a believer that recovery from SZ can and is a reality. I've gotten up in front of many organziations and different types of people to talk about SZ in my life. SZ isn't me, its something I have.

What I want to tell society is "don't believe what Hollywood tells you about SZ. Its all made up. I am not an axe murderer or a babbling idiot sitting in a corner drooling on myself. I am man that has a condition that requires me to take meds to control it..much like diabetes. I am intelligent and fully functional. I own my home, two cars and have money saved. Not many that DON'T have SZ can say that. I work on my problems on a daily basis. Again not many that don't have SZ work on their problems daily. I get no vacation or day off from SZ.  I will always have it".

My first symptom of SZ was auditory hallucinations (voices). I have conquered them. I rarely hear them, compared to hearing them ALL the time. Recovery is possible. It takes work. Siting on my hands isn't going to help the symptoms stay at bay. I must take meds, get routine ECT's, use light therapy, eat right, sleep enough, rest enough, exercise and do whatever it takes to stay healthy. Recovery is a process. One that is a DAILY requirement.

SZ has made me stronger. Its like that Johnny Cash song " A Boy Named Sue" It was either fight it or die. I wasn't willing to die.

SZ isn't the end..for me it was the beginning.

Live, love, laugh, learn, listen,

David

Donna-1

11/13/11 3:14pm

Good for you.  I have tried different ways of couching "schizophrenia" such as "brain disorder" or "problems thinking" or euphemisms we've all heard.  But nothing is as personally satisfying to me as saying just plain old "schizophrenia."  And I try not to explain that I'm not violent, or that I don't live in an asylum somewhere, or that I can't work, or even all the obstacles I have overcome.  I just say the word, and usually they let the subject drop.