-
re: Winning Against Fear : How to Do It
Don Fraser
Thursday, January 10, 2008 at 02:25 PMFriends
Christina Bruni
Tuesday, January 15, 2008 at 01:55 PMHello Don,
I, too, feel better around my friends who also have a diagnosis, like my friend Zoe who has bipolar.I don't expect anyone looking in from the outside, to understand.
Yet isn't that a bit of self-stigma creeping in?
Perhaps I have to "act as if" I'm confident that they'll accept me, even when I fear they won't.
The proof in the pudding I hope is that the Connection web site, and my blogs and other magazines, and even people speaking up in real life, will counteract the stigma.
So that little-by-little the acceptance comes.
(Though sometimes it's much easier when you have a bad day to just chill out and stay with your MI friends.)
Everybody has something, even so-called normals.
Best wishes,
Chris
-
How to win against fear? Good question!
Pamela Wagner
Sunday, January 13, 2008 at 05:53 PMHi Christina,
Great subject for consideration and much food for thought... My biggest source of anxiety at the moment, though not the only one, is my fear of calling strangers on the phone. I somehow cannot do it and have always had someone else make those problem phone calls for me. But your column has convinced me I should "take the bull by the horns" and start trying to do the calls myself. Tomorrow I need to have some medical records faxed from one doctor's office to another, a seemingly simple matter for most people, but a daunting, frightening phone call for me. I think, if I can get up the nerve and determination, I will try to do it myself, though I'll have a friend sitting with me for support and back-up if I need it. Maybe, if I actually succeed, I'll report it back here. In any event, you showed me how it can be done by your own examples of personal courage and self-acceptance afterwards if things don't go perfectly. I want to thank you for that.
Best wishes,
Pam W
re: How to win against fear? Good question!
Christina Bruni
Monday, January 14, 2008 at 01:33 PMYou're welcome, Pam!
I used to have to call strangers all the time on my job at the law firm. What helped: I would spend a quick minute, before I lifted the receiver to dial the number, "rehearsing" what I had to say and telling myself that the other person would respond favorably. I also wrote down a script so I wouldn't forget what I needed to cover in the conversation.
You may want to try these techniques. They always helped me.
Regards,
Chris
re: re: How to win against fear? Good question!
Pamela Wagner
Monday, January 14, 2008 at 06:19 PMThanks, Chris, I will in fact try those gambits as I did not know how I was going to face the challenge I had set myself. I could not do it today, due to the fact of the snowstorm and too much to do, but tomorrow I plan to ask Karen to help me do it, if I can't face it on my own. But your techniques make me feel as if I could! Thanks!
Pam W
re: re: How to win against fear? Good question!
Pamela Wagner
Monday, January 21, 2008 at 10:06 AMWell it took a bit of doing, and I'm a week late, but today I actually made two phone calls, one to one doctor's office to get his fax number and the other to the medical records dept of the other, to get their fax number. Then, and perhaps even scariest of all, I actually faxed over a request for my records! Now this may seem like a ridiculously easy thing to do, but it scared me terribly, to ask even by fax for my own records...I made so many mistakes even dialing the numbers to do all this it was almost comedic, would have been had I not been so nervous. But now I can indeed laugh, and should, because it was so small and easy a task and I made such a mountain of it. Still, it was a mountain I climbed to the top of successfully, too, so I am also proud of myself, make no mistake about it. At the same time, I am still trembling...
- Font size
- Email This
- Bookmark
- Thank you for your input
- Save
- RSS
- Report Abuse
Great story Christina ! Fear is quite a battleground, indeed. Something that works for me is if I;m going into a social situation , such as a New Year's or Xmas party I'll choose a very passive approach. That way the fear doesn't have time to gain a foothold and I can relax and enjoy the company of old friends and meet new ones.
I still am in the company of psych. patients, whom I* have known over the years. But that's OK ; seeing people in different stages of wellness helps me manage my illness. It's funny, isn't it?, we feel at ease with those of our own kind and we seem to feel that we have to constantly "prove' ourselves to society at large.
Maybe it's only ourselves that we're proving this to.
Best wishes, Don F.