A Happy Easter

Hi
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Hi Chris, I just wanted to say that I am a father of two children and one grandson. My son and daughter are both adults 21 and 23 respectively. When I had my children there wasn't much thought or discussion. I figured it was the right thing to do. "go forth and populate the earth". In the early years it was hard. Both the kids were in diapers at the same time. Money was tight. I was working at the state hospital in their work program. I was drinking heavily and in and out of the hospital. My daughter was 5 and my son 4 when I quit alcohol. They were a major reason why I stopped. I divorced shortly after sobriety. My son was about 10 when he came to live with me where he lived until 19. I quit smoking because of my son. My daughter has a 4 year old son..whom I love more than anything.  My second wife (whom I'm still married to) has two girls and three grandchildren. My stepchildren aren't much younger than I. One is 40 and the other 38. (I'm 45). I love her children, but they are more like friends. The three grandkids are like my own.  My son suffers from some of the same things I do..alcoholism, depression,schizophrenia. It pains to see him hurt the way he does, but I'm always there for him. Whenever we talk I tell him I love him and will support him in any way I can. On his myspace profile he lists me as his hero. He is one of the people I want to stay alive for, my wife is second. He may never be a brain surgeon, but neither will I and I turned out pretty darn good. My grandson is my third chance at life. He brings me tremendous joy when I see him. Having children was a huge undertaking but I wouldn't trade it for the world.
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I married at age 24 and was only suffering from moderate depression.  We decided to put off having children until we got our careers established.  Later, when I was 37 and hospitalized over and over again and waiting for my divorce to be finalized,  I was glad then that I had not had any children.  That's because they would have been about 10-12 yrs old and I would have been both physically and emotionally unavailable for several years.  My husband might have gotten custody of them also, and I wouldn't not have wanted that.

 

Sometimes I regret not having children, because I think I would have been a great mom despite sz.   At 50, it would be nice to have children in their mid-twenties, and maybe a grandchild or two.  Instead, I am reaching out to the elderly whose children rarely visit them.  I can be their "child" when they need one.

 

Carolyn

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