An Interview With Paulette - Part Two

CB: Wow. How wonderful it turned out.
P: That's quite a story, but it's a beautiful story with a beautiful, beautiful ending. I pray a lot-I have a lot of faith and even now when I'm confused or don't know how to advise David to talk to him, I have to stop, take a few deep breathes, say a prayer and back away for awhile and then approach him. Because we're constantly advising and directing-I would say even now that my son is in a wonderful place of recovery. He still finds certain things difficult and he still struggles in certain areas in his life.

I find if I get upset or emotional I'm no good for him. As Moms and Dads and siblings we do have to be strong and patient and take care of ourselves, so we can be good to our children, because it's easy to get caught up in the emotion of all this and then none of us are going to get any better.

CB: What advice can you give family members about loved ones who find no symptom relief or who refuse treatment?
P: I hoped what I shared with you was David refusing help and he wasn't aware he was unraveling again so we called 911. If you mean that they've been in and out of hospitals and just can't respond to medication that's another tough issue. Our story is thank God he responded to the medication and it worked effectively for him. Certainly those heartache stories exist where families call 911 and they do get their loved one in the hospital but the person comes out or stops taking the medication, or one medication after another just doesn't work. My advice to those parents-and I have some friends in that situation-is to keep trying. You have to realize if one drug doesn't work a lot of it is trial-and-error. Hang in there, don't give up. Find the doctor that will work best with you. If your loved one is not responding to a medication, there is going to be one that will work.

Accept wherever your loved one is at by loving them and being there for them. Saying things like, "I'm here for you, I want to help you get your life back together. Let's learn together, let's try to find the answers together" is important.

Again, to keep up their strength and patience so that even if their loved one is in and out of hospitals or on and off meds, they can find a way to be strong for themselves so they don't fall apart. It could be a job that brings them comfort or relief. For some it's prayer-church-or being in a support group. Seeing their own therapist. I still see a therapist so that when I'm confused or dealing with certain situations along the way I can cope. My advice would be for parents whose children don't seem to be getting better to stick it out, get help for yourself and accept that maybe this is the best that can be for your child. Never give up on finding the right medication or therapy or group because it doesn't happen overnight. Some of the things I shared about David didn't happen right away-weeks and months went by before finding the right therapist and the right group.