Self-stigma is a huge problem. When I was 18, just discharged from the state hospital, I thought I had "mentally ill" written on my forehead. I thought that just by looking at me you could tell.
Years later I stand I say "I have a mental illness." I am surprised how people reacted. I told my dentist, explained the voices, and she was amazed. She said she would never had known. There is no way to tell I have an illness unless I tell.
I cringe at words that are defamatory. I am working on not using words like, crazy, psycho, lunatic, looney...etc. I wrote once that I wanted to change the language. A person responded by saying "you cannot change a leopard's spots." I do not believe that. I believe that by standing and saying "enough is enough" change will come about.
I have changed the way I describe my illness. I first used "I'm mentally ill", then "I am a scizophrenic" then I used "I have a mental diganosis", now I use "I have a mental disease." In seeing them on print, I don't like any of them.
If I use positive words, change will happen. There's a song that goes "do what's right and let the consquences follow."
I also want to make a choice, illness or recovery. I've had enough illness and now I choose recovery.
Dave
Dave, I can identify with your statement about people being surprised that you have a mental illness. At times, I have thought my illness was perfectly obvious to everyone who saw me. Like a neon sign above my head. And when I was the sickest I really did look sick, I know -- weighed 93 lbs, eyes had this vacant gaze, I wore unbecoming clothes, and had trouble expressing myself and understanding what others were saying. But at some point during my recovery, these cues went away, but my self-stigma did not. It took a long time before I realized I appeared "normal" to everyone else. Some people even refused to believe I had schizophrenia and I thought, "How did they NOT know?" Sometimes I still wonder. It seems there must be some telltale sign...but there really isn't. So more and more, I try to put this self-stigma behind me and go on about living my life.
For a long time, I identified myself as "a schizophrenic" rather than as a person who happens to be diagnosed with schizophrenia. But now I believe I am at a point during my recovery where I identify myself as Carolyn, intelligent, artistic, talented writer, good daughter, stylish dresser, etc. Schizophrenia is no longer first on my list of self-descriptive words.
Carolyn