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Tuesday, November, 24, 2009
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My bf has been hospitilized with paranoid schizophrenia

BadTimes

BadTimes

Friday, October 09, 2009
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Ok so here s the story: I was with my bf of 4 years (now my ex) when i met this guy, we started meeting up ect ect and he was amazing iv never felt like this about anyone i fell in love with him within the first week we were seeing eachother. I finished with my bf and we got together as a proper co...
  1. Hello
    Christina Bruni
    Saturday, October 10, 2009 at 01:12 PM

    Hi,

     

    I'm going to stick to the question at hand without any "editorial" comments.

     

    If your new guy has schizophrenia it is going to take awhile for him to get up to par again.  This could take a year and it really depends on whether he will commit to working on his recovery when he gets out of the hospital.

     

    I wouldn't push things.  I would write and post the letters to him because even though he is not in the best frame of mind, I'm sure he might welcome the support and encouragement you give him.

     

    Another thing: if he is in the hospital and attending daily group therapy sessions with the other patients, he may have revealed things and he may be working those things out.  He may have come to some conclusions about his relationship with you.  Not that this necessarily has anything to do with you.  You could be the right person who came into his life at the wrong time.  Maybe he feels embarrassed to be in the hospital as well.  There could be any number of reasons why he's refusing to see you or others.

     

    I wouldn't push it right now.  Repeatedly calling him and often calling him after he has expressed the desire to be left alone borders on obsessive or possessive.  I understand you fell in love with the guy within a week [something that raises a red flag in me, by the way-there, an editorial comment] so you may not be able to let go right now.  However, his number one priority is getting better and recovering from the schizophrenia.  He may not want to be stressed out right now by the thought of having to be in a relationship when he has other pressing concerns.

     

    I am even hesitant to tell you it's okay to call him once a week.  If you post him letters he has the choice whether to read them or not.  You have to give him the time and space to deal with what's going on.  From what you've said you've only known him for a little under two months.

     

    Recovery from schizophrenia isn't quick and it isn't easy.  All too often people diagnosed with this medical condition have recurring episodes throughout their lives.  He may be feeling raw and vulnerable now and retreating because he feels he wants to work on this on his own.  Again, you don't know the whole story.


    Respect his wishes. Should his needs or feelings change he will let you know.

     

    Regards,

    Christina

     

     

    Reply
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Schizophrenia is a syndrome characterized by disturbances in emotions, thought, activity, and language, that leaves patients fearful and withdrawn.

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