The child has grown. The dream is gone.

....but I am most definetly not 'comfortably numb'.

UGH.  I listened to 'The Wall' today (not an uncommon thing).  A brilliant piece of work.  Unfortunately I feel as if they are singing of my life, not a jaded rock star's.  I wasn't in a mood of particular self pity, it just came up on my playlist so I listened to it as I did some housework.  I adore the way that Floyd saves the most beautiful harmonies for the most heartwrenching lyrics.  Amazing.

Well, that was this afternoon and it's past.

I am missing out on too much of life, but there does not seem to be a solution. For example, about the only TV I watch is C-span.  Dramas are just too disturbing and I can't seem to sit through a movie anymore.  A friend invited me to go see The Dark Knight last summer, I didn't think I could handle it.  Batman Begins really disturbed me even though it was a good movie.  I had heard Dark Knight was moreso, esp. with Keith Ledger's death.

I did not make it to the NAMI group on Thursday as I wanted.  It's going to take some work to get there.  I'm usually spent by the afternoon (mentally, emotionally, whatever) so an evening meeting is going too be tough.  Surprisingly (to me) I have never been in a group setting (except inpatient) so I really don't know what to expect.  I'm picturing sort of a AA meeting for people dealing with mental illness.  I went to a few AA meetings long ago...coffee and cigarettes were high on the agenda.  ha   Still are for me.

My try at a positive ending:

I did manage to clean the utterly filthy kitchen while listening to The Wall.  It was a Superfund site.  Spic and span now,  though I nearly gassed myself with chlorox.  It was so bad I had to go outside and have a cigarette to clear my head and lungs (how smart is that! )