i have paranoid schizophrenia. i'm not sure how long i've had it, but it's just now really affecting my life. i don't hear voices or see things. i'm afraid that thats what is coming next. i was in a mental hosp. when i was 16. i'm 20 now. i don't always know when i'm having my little moments because i don't relize what i am doing. it's just me. i never really had a childhood. i had to grow up fast with an absent mother and a acholohic/abusive father. i don't like my childhood and would love to be able to change it, but then again, if i could and did i wouldn't be me. i like who i am. and i think that i am a good person, when i'm doing ok. i can't go out very much because i don't like to be in big groups of people. i kinda freakout. i don't do any drugs, not even for my schizophrenia. i don't believe in medication. i'm not saying that it doesn't help people. i just don't want to be on meds my whole life. is there anyway i can control my systoms without meds? or will they just get worse? i just want to be happy and stop affecting the people around me the ways i do.
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