ready to give up

I have been married to my husband for 18 years. I married him right out of highschool. He was the love of my life. Then three years ago our world fell apart. He became psychotic. It was gradual and slowly got worse. He was good at hiding it. The first episode was directed at me, the second at his work. It has been two years. His work complains that his meds make him to "spacey". So with doctor he cut down by half. Now four months later he has had another bad episode. He is in the hospital again. His only way to stop the paranoia etc.... is to stay on the full dosage. If he does that he will lose his job. He is a zombie on the med. He is not a husband or a dad to our three kids. He is a zombie. I don't know what to do. I love him, but I am tired of taking care of him and everything else. I am tired of him putting our children through this, and I don't know what we will do when he loses his job. I work full time, but don't make enough to support us. I have no help at all. I am ready to give up.

ab