My Son and Schizophrenia

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Thu, April 16, 2009

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My Son is gone again

Two years ago my son was diagnosed with Schizophrenia at the age of 23, we went through a rough road he did not want to believe that something was wrong with him. He would go back and forth from my house and his grandmothers house he would get upset with one of us and use us against eachother. One day when he was at my house he and he got so bad that I had to call the police to have him removed from my house, I never in my life ever thought I would be calling the police on my son. We were able to get him the help he needed he volentarily went to the hospital and commited himself. He was doing great for awhile we got a court order for him to take his meds because he still refused it worked mental health would go to his apartment (they provided the apartment) and give him his meds well that worked for the six months on the court order.

He stopped taking the meds about a yr ago, and now we are going through the symptoms again hearing voices, talking off the wall stuff, he shaved his head the other day he is losing weight again and just does not want to listen to anything we have to say. We finally got him to agree to go to the emergency room yesterday to get him back on his meds. He took his first one this morning with no fight, went to work and called me about 5 minutes after he got there and told me that they had fired him, last night his girlfriend sent him home because he was being rude to her and making her cry. Now I have no idea where he is and he turned off his cell phone so we cant get a hold of him. I just am at a loss I could use any help I can get and any suggestions would be great.

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Dilip

4/16/09 11:15pm

Hi Sherri,

I understand the situation which you are going through as I also have a mother who is having this illness, it's very hard situation to cope with such patients especially when they are sometimes OFF from the medicine. Dont worry, your son will be back soon, maybe you can sought a local police help to trace your son. One suggestion from my end is that we should constantly see that the patients with such illness is taking medicine on a regular basis. We need to monitor every day. Thatz what I tell from my experience, anyways good luck and i hope that you see your son soon.

Cheers,

Dilip

Sheri

4/17/09 12:16am

Thank you for your comments I hope all is well with you and your mom. My son came home about 2 hours after i wrote my message. I want to thank you again.

betty hendryx

4/17/09 12:09am

first off my heart goes out to you, i am also a mother of a son that has been diagnosed with schizophrenia, he was diagnosed with it when he was 19, he lives with me an will for a very long time. there are good days there is some really ruff ones. an it is very hard sometimes to keep them on their meds when they dont want to take it. but from exprince i do know he will come home, and be just willing to keep forgiving him an let him know you always be there for him.

Sheri

4/17/09 12:21am

My son came home about 2 hours after I wrote my message and he went and layed down and took a 2 hr nap then he was off again after he woke up, it is like he cant stay still. I am trying to get the meds changed they put him on zyprexa and it is not working for him I want to try and get him on Abilify and Seroquel I have heard good things about them. Let me know what works for you son. Thank you for writing it is nice to hear from other people that are going through the same thing I am going through please keep in touch.

Janet

4/17/09 8:01am

I am so happy for you that your son has come home.Now I would like to offer you some hope for both you and your son. I too was diagnosed atthe age of 23 right after graduating from college in 1983. So as you can see I am now 49 years old. I have been on a wide array of medication and have been hospitalized 5 different times with the last being in 1997. I currently take only the medication Seroquel. There will be both good time and bad but with the proper medication and dr I am confident your son will do just fine.

Let me close by giving you two other websites I have found helpful to me and they are www.schizophrenia.com www.mindsz.com

Let me close by saying you can ask me any question and I will try my best to help you in any way I can.

I wish you and your son nothing but the very best.

Sheri

4/21/09 8:53pm

Thank you for your response, Today was a good day I was able to get him down to mental health to reopen his case. I will check out the two other web sites you gave me. I do have one question. Are you able to maintain a normal life with living on your own? I am at the point that I think he will be living with me his whole life.

Christina Bruni

4/17/09 8:47am

Hi Sheri,

I feel for what you are going through. Anosognosia, or the lack of awareness that one has an illness, affects up to 50 percent of the people diagnosed with schizophrenia. Because the person doesn't believe he's sick, why should he take medication? Maybe I referred you to Xavier Amador's book already, maybe not: I Am Not Sick, I Don't Need Help. He coaches you on how to develop trust with your loved one and techniques for persuading them to seek treatment. If you can link his staying in treatment and taking the meds with his being able to achieve a goal, such as living independently or maintaining a relationship, he will [hopefully] see the benefit in taking the meds. If there is a part of him that has insight and he's having a hard time wrapping his head around the diagnosis, that would be a beginning where there is an opening. Above, don't keep trying to convince your son he is sick. You'll be at an impasse. The updated 2007 version of I Am Not Sick is available from Amazon.com.

Sometimes, you just need to listen and try to understand how he feels, even if it's hard for you to believe someone could not think he's sick when obviously he has symptoms. However, I want to be clear on one thing: if forced treatment is necessary, you may have to go that route. If you have to call the police or the ambulance again, be strong and do what you have to do.

I wish all the best for your son.

Regards,

Christina

Sheri

4/21/09 9:01pm

Thank you Christina today I was able to get him to agree to go down to Mental Health and we made an appointment for him to open his case back up. He had left when we got home and called me to find out what meds he is taking I asked him why, he said he was down at Mental Health again filling out paper work, then I got a call from a counselor there and he had signed the consent form for me to be able to handle his case. I was really happy to hear that. I have seen a little difference in him of course it has only been 5 days since he has started taking the meds again, he has not given me any trouble about taking them again I am so grateful for that I hate fighting with him. I really think he can feel the difference. Thank you again for your comments I really appreciate it.

Christina Bruni

4/27/09 11:43am

You're welcome,

Christina

Aneita

5/22/09 7:04pm

I can't help you. I can only tell you that you are not alone. Our son too is suffering from this terrible mental illness, but he will not take any meds. He still lives with us and it is a War Zone. He is in College and about to Graduate in December, but I don't think he'll ever be able to hold a job. He has a terrible temper. I just wanted you to know that you are not alone.

Sheri

5/22/09 10:58pm

Thank you Anita, yes I know I'm not alone the one reason I joined this website so I can talk to other parents and people that are dealing with this terrible illness, my son was living with me until he moved out a couple of weeks ago, I had asked him to pay me 200 dollars a month for rent and he decided that he didnt think he needed to pay me rent if he was living here so he said he was going to live in the homeless shelter, well nobody has heard from him since the 12th he moved out of there. Mental health has been trying to get ahold of him and cant find him either. Like I said before we are just going to have to wait for him to come to us, not an easy process but I have to be strong and know he will when he needs the help. I am so grateful for this website this is the one place I can pour my heart out and not feel stupid I really thank you for having this on here for us parents that need it.

Anonymous

6/ 7/09 1:33pm

Hi- i am a mom with a 23 years old schizophrenic son that was diagnosed when he was around 17. He cant keep money in his pocket, so i am his payee and receive SSi and his social security and food stamps. I want to have him live somewhere else but he has little to no capacity to make responsible decisions. He attends college and so is book smart, but when it comes to drinking, smoking weed and sometimes doing crack, its like his "friends" know when he gets his checks and here they come to tempt him. I dont give him a car, and that is his biggest resentment, but in all honesty with his lack of will power and irresponsibility to make good decisions i think that wont happen from me anyways. He has been baker acted many times and does good for a while when coming home, but eventually it starts up again. I want to move to a more prosperous job 8 hours away, but i dont want him to come. I have a daughter (his younger sis) that wants to move with me, but doesnt want her brother to come and why would she? he can be moody, violent, you just never know day to day.Anyone suggest why the mother should be the one to carry the burden of being basically his caregiver? (dad has remarried, doesnt want him) and brother cant financially deal with him)Any suggestions? thanks.

Yet Another Mother

8/13/09 8:48am

This is indeed very strange, all the posts about schizophrenic sons are by "Mothers" and there is no mention of the father's role in taking care of the patient. Are "Fathers" never bothered about their sick sons' welfare or willing to share the daily trauma the "caregiver" of a schizophrenic goes through? My son resolutely refuses to go to his father, even though he abuses me in various ways every day. If I throw him out, he just goes to find shelter with my sister, who lives on her own. Is it that the patient will pick soft targets or is it the absence of a good male role model that makes him abuse women?

Francesca

2/10/10 6:12pm

Power in Praise by Merlin Caruthers

My Son and Schizophrenia

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