Is anyone pleased - with a schizophrenic!

I appreciate your kindness Robin.

At times I think I've been misdiagnosed from the symptoms they list. But accept this judgement placed upon me!  I know I feel very much alone(shy) and seem insecure about myself.  There's been enough misfortune to my past that I can justify, exactly how I've had the confidence knocked out of me.  The label doesn't help from what I can see-doesn't match.

But what does is the people on this website, so admittedly, I'm thankful. My circumstances may be different, it doesn't mean I'm entirely alone in every way. Its just been a struggle for so long! Making my living standard go from bad to worse and being older tends to intensify the situation.

I'm facing my days with new hope, small steps and pleasant continuance.

Thank-you for taking the time - to answer - I'm 51, and at times inspite of the hell I've lived through( 2 divorces and restraining orders against both) I'd hoped , and still do to find someone to be in my life, to share it with.  Being timid, doesn't help, and obviously I may only be a bit of a dreamer. And even if its not mine that come true, I can have that much.  And know the difference. 

I'm not a strong person, and I once was, at least strong minded.  I'm just growing up in another way , even this late in life.

                          greatful and sincere , JANice

JANice, I am 49 and have been through 1 awful, abusive marriage and subsequent divorce.  I withstood the abuse for 13 yrs, mostly sex abuse and his being so controlling.  In fact, I think he helped drive me up and over The Edge of sanity, and I plunged into psychosis and madness for a long time.

Still, I too hope that some day I will find a real gentleman to have a better marriage with.  My problem is they all seem like bastards now.  I have trust issues, in other words.

Carolyn

DCROY9633

I understand much of what you've gone through! And having restraining orders against both ex's, only does so much good.  Yes, I too have dreamed of meeting the right kind of man, to enjoy life with and to marry. Even finding someone special enough to want to date is rare. The few I've bothered with, didn't take long to figure out. And because I know I'm being extra cautious, I don't want to forget anything - don't believe I can without ending up repeating the same mistake.  I know how much I've suffered, from the abuses from both ex's. I know also you have, as you say it was mostly this or that saves you from the indignenty of having to explain the multi ways of having been hurt.

Don't think they're all alike? Just know I to, struggle with finding that secure feeling needed to broach a mutual respectful love. Without it nothing,grows or develops, into a relationship even. And I'm not about to settle on anything resembling the other failures.

I think its become part of us to be this way, as we've been cheated of that loving, carefree, completely open nieve sincerety. I've have had to keep my sense about me, for having to open my eyes when blackened was to difficult

                                     JANice