Delightful Trip to the LaLa Land

Hi carolyn,

Thank you for the comment.I almost burst into tears when I read your reply.

It's such a warm feeling to know there's someone understands the situation and even

be bothered to wish me well.

My psychaitrist has not yet comfirm with the diagoise of schizophrenia, I think it could be the fact that I have shown no overt delusions or halluciations. I have experience with ridicolous jealousy obsesstion, but I never thought my bf was cheating on me. 

I am currently prescribed with Risperdal. I didn't quite like it as it because it make me very drownsy all the time and the side effect of weight gain but I must admit that it cerntainly enhances the effect of citalopram(anti-depressant).

At the present, I am very stressed out with possibility of schizophrenia and a hard life seems to be just began. Before my next psychaitry consultation,  I can only convince myself there could be a lot other diagnoise such as schizoaffective disorder, psychosis, psychneurosis etc.

Once again, much appreciated for your warmful comment. How are you coping with it?

The right medication are very effective at controling positive symtoms, how about your social life? Are you active and motivated?

Wish you well

Grace

Grace, I must admit there were several murky years when I couldn't take care of myself very well.  I had to live with my parents because I couldn't hold down a job and that wouldn't have been my first choice of living arrangements, if you know what I mean.  I am still living here with my mother. Sometimes when feeling a little better, I thought maybe I didn't need the medication anymore, or was hit broadside by the side effects of sleepiness and weight gain and decided to try it "on my own."  Over and over again this lead to hospitalizations and even ECT treatments.  Now I realize that Z yprexa not only helps with the sz but with the major depression I had suffered for years.  Since 2002 I have not been in the hospital, and since 2004 I have had almost no depression.  I call that a significant recovery.  I am back to where I take my clothes off at night before I go to bed, I brush my teeth almost every day, creative output (painting) has resumed, and I can even enjoy a good book.  If that sounds bleak, it really isn't.  I am feeling better than I ever have in my whole life and I believe the meds compliment my recovery.  Now I am just careful to limit going-and-doing to 2-3 days per week.  Taking care of myself is something I have learned over time.

You asked how my social life is going.  For most of my life I have been rather paranoid and had a very poor social life, careful to stay away from any place or function where there were lots of people.  I even avoided family get-togethers.  (I still do avoid family sometimes, but it is not due to sz!)  Now I do a little volunteer work with some other women where we can sit and talk as we work, and I enjoy it.  I am going to Sunday School and it is a warm fellowship.  No longer do I cringe and move to a back corner at showers and other parties.  I can walk across the room at a restaurant and not believe everyone is watching and talking about me.  These seem like relatively little things, but they are worth so much.

I tried Risperdal, but had bad side effects of vomiting frequently.  I also tried Tegretol, Lithium, Seroquel, Abilify, Haldol, Geodon, Depakote, Wellbutrin, Eskalith, Lexapro, Prozac, Zoloft, Paxil, etc., before I found the right drug cocktail.  It can take a while for some people to find what works best for them.  If you are worried about weight gain, you might ask to try Geodon or Abilify.  They made me too agitated and unable to sleep but I wish I had been able to stay on them.

I guess I am rambling now.   You have a road to recovery before you and you will have to do everything you can and be as courageous as possible to travel it every day.  As for me, I feel like just over the past year or two I have finally reached almost full recovery.  But it started with admitting I had to take the medications every day.  And weeding out the most stressful things in life.  Which included working.

Best wishes to you again.

Carolyn