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Some personal thoughts on an early Sunday morning

By Bob Stockus Sunday, May 24, 2009
Hello to everyone in the community.I hope this message finds everyone well. It is shortly after 1:00 in the morning and I am currently at work at my part time job as a security guard.In my line of work it seems as though there is always plenty of spare time to use until the end of your shift arrives.I thought I'd take advantage of the slow time I have right now and offer some personal thoughts. I am not a doctor.I am just a John Doe like everyone else in this community who is trying their best to deal with their illness.My illness happens to be paranoid schizophrenia. I have been receiving treatment for many years now.That treatment comes in the form of therapy,but in my mind therapy can take many different shapes.There are times when that therapy,for me at least,can be very subtle but very effective. For me there is the therapy that you receive from your doctor-patient relationship.Just as important is the therapy you receive from taking your medication everyday.This is of utmost importance.Other beneficial therapy comes in the form of support groups such as this web site.Maybe some of you are involved in outside support groups.If you are,stick with it,the interaction can be valuable. For me,the simpler things in life provide me with tremendous therapy.I happen to love music.A beautiful song can stir my soul,calm my nerves and relieve any stress.A simple walk in my local park to feed the ducks may not seem like much,but it does wonders.The sight of a newborn infant in it's mothers arms is a wonderous sight to behold.At sunrise when the birds start to chirp to greet the day,these are sounds as simple as they may be,that are meant to enrich our lives.All that I am trying to say is that in my opinion there are many forms of therapy.We just need to take advantage of some of the more simpler things in life that God has blesed us with. Some of you may be thinking,"that's easy for you to say".But believe me I have been to the bottom and I am still working my way up.I feel as though I have made great progress even though I went through some bad times.By bad times I mean I no longer pop bottles of trazodone.I no longer feel compelled to cause bodily harm to myself.Also,I have managed to stay out of the hospital.I have been in and out of the hospital 4 times,and have no plans of going back.But I must stick to my therapy with my doctor and just as important I must take my medication. One thing that I think turned things around for me is that I finally accepted who I was as a person.I admitted to myself that I was a paranoid schizophrenic,accepted it and decided that I did need treatment.That is what turned things around for me.I still have days where I still feel confused, but for the most part I feel as though I can say I'm making progress. I sorry but I must repeat myself one more time.I am not a doctor,but I can't stress how important it is that you see your doctor on a regular basis and as always take your medication. I appreciate any feedback.The interaction of ideas is great in as far as my own therapy is concerned. Have a great Memorial Day weekend. Robert
A Mood Indigo Night
5/24/09 9:09am

Way to go, Robert !     You're doing what a lot of us wound up doing at some point, that is, taking charge of your life again.      It is difficult (I have a diagnosis of schizo-effective disorder ) to deal with the changes that come your way but you hit on two very important issues,           !) Taking meds. and 2) continuing therapy.       I also find this site supportive.     It's nice to know there are friends out there who care.

Take care.

 

Don Fraser

5/24/09 9:15pm
Hello Don,I appreciate your comment on my Sharepost from this morning.At first I didn't know what to expect in the way of feedback.But so far all of the responses that I have received have been positive.Once again thank you.I look forward to hearing from you in the future.Have a good night. Robert
5/24/09 10:57am

Robert I agree with you 100%. there is one aspect of my recovery I must add to your list and that is I have a Loving family that supports me through bad times as well as good times. I realize that is a blessing that not everyone has in their life and that is why I Chersish them.

You are one very smart individual and I hope others can learn from your post and come to appreciate your posts as much as I do.

Thanks so much and Enjoy your weekend.

Janet

5/24/09 9:46pm
Hi Janet,it was good to hear from you.I appreciate your positive feedback from my SharePost.At first I didn't know what to expect as far as feedback is concerned.But so far all of the response has been on the positive side.I'm glad that you enjoy reading my posts.I express my thoughts better by way of the written form,rather than verbally.I hope you had a good day. Robert
5/24/09 4:19pm

I'm glad that life's simple pleasures are healing for you -- like music and nature -- along with medication and a doctor's care.  Music helps me a lot.  It seems to echo my moods.  I used to listen to music when I was trying to go to sleep at night.  It helped my mind settle down.  Now there are some new groups, like Coldplay and Aqualung, that I like a lot.

 

Do you read much?  There have been times during my recovery when I really wasn't "settled" enough mentally to focus on reading.  But now I am enjoying some non-fiction books on writing and developing a healthy body-image. 

 

I just moved into an apartment after having lived with my mom for years.  Since you have a job, are you able to live independently?  Write some more -- I enjoy reading your posts.

 

Carolyn

Christina Bruni, Health Guide
5/24/09 8:01pm

Hi Carolyn,

 

Yes, Coldplay is good: "Viva La Vida" and was their other song called "Clocks?" years ago.  I haven't heard of Aqualung though I believe that was a song I absolutely hated in the 1970s by a band whose name I forget.  Oh, Jethro Tull.  I disliked their music.

 

Cheers,

Christina

5/24/09 11:19pm
Hello Carolyn,I appreciate your response to my SharePost.I'm sorry that I could not reply to your questions and response sooner.I work nights pretty much all of the time and try to get what ever sleep I can during the day.I am currently at work right now.It's my turn to work the weekend,which involves working 2 twelve hour shifts on Saturday and Sunday.My doctor tells me that working nights combined with a lack of regular sleep patterns,only makes the symptoms of my illness worse.But right now I don't have much choice in the matter.I am on disability from the Post Office,but my part time security guard job helps to pay the bills. I used to like to read quite a bit,but lately I find it hard to sit down and concentrate on any one thing for any length of time.Sometimes I wonder if I don't have some form of Attention Deficit Disorder.At my next doctor's visit,I'll bring it up with him and see what he thinks.I am currently living on my own,although my son David does stay with me.He basically goes his way and I go mine,and sometimes we meet in between.David is a big help around the house with chores and all.Besides that he gives me emotional support also. Well,I better get back to work.It was nice to hear from you today and I look forward to hearing from you in the future. Have a good night. Robert
Christina Bruni, Health Guide
5/24/09 7:57pm

Hi Robert,

 

You make some good points.

 

I plan to buy a table top easel and return to my love of painting.

 

Enjoy your holiday.

 

Regards,

Christina

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By Bob Stockus— Last Modified: 12/19/10, First Published: 05/24/09