I was diagnosed with bipolar a few years ago. Rapid cycler with more depression than mania.  I stopped taking my meds a year and a half ago and have been fine up until now. I am going into a depression rapidly and the despair I feel is so overwhelming. I have been thinking of checking myself in somewhere for help, but that would hurt my family as they depend on me and with the holidays coming and all. I have all my old meds and was thinking of starting up on them again. However, The dosages are quite high and I am not sure it is safe to just start taking them again. Abilify 2mg, Topamax 100mg, Buspirone 10 mg, and paxil 30 mg. I can't remember if we increased the doasges as I went along and got to that point. Not sure. Anyone know or have suggestions? I would appreciate it. Any support would be much appreciated as those around me can't seem to comprehend what it is I am going thru.