I have been away for some time now. (Thanks Donna for emailing me). I spent 14 days inpatient in September. I couldn't write shareposts on my computer for a long time (I bought a new one, thus this sharepost).

I read Christina's sharepost about "surviving the hospital." To be honest its outdated. One thing she said was its "dark". It may have been back in the 80's, but not now. Christina I am not attacking you..Lord knows that is not my intention. I did a few things you suggested... I went to groups, didn't isolate and got active in my tretament plan. I wrote my own discharge plan two days after admission. I asked for help when needed. Didn't sleep all day. There were two paintings in the diningroom that really helped me. They were abstract paintings..a mass of random colors and shapes. I stared at them for hours in a trance like state. It helped because the unit, although it was small, was very noisy.

My hospital stay was rough. I was severely depressed and even had a suicide plan. I wasn't eating and sleeping very little. It was like when I first got sick in 1980. While I was inpatient we had a major floor in this area. My wife got evacuated. That was the hardest. We didn't see each other for three days. In the 11 years we've been married that is the first time we've ever had a day where we didn't see each other.

What lead to my depressive state? I stopped doing what I loved. In late July I stopped cooking (we ate out) in early August I stopped listening to music. In late August I stopped driving. I began to not care about anything. I started sleeping very little. I didn't do housework. I did NOTHING!! I did take my meds as prescribed.

While in the hospital I was taken off two meds and placed one. I've since begun outpatient ECT again. I bought a light therapy lamp. I am seeng a counselor. I'm going to a psychosocial club (Four Seasons) three days a week.

I am doing much better. I am back doing what I love and loving what I am doing. ECT's are helping as is the lamp. I am getting honest with my counselor and working very closely with her. The club is getting me out of the house and doing thing that bring meaning to my life.

Take care,

David