I have an ECT scheduled for 7:45am today. I am looking forward to it. It helps so much with my depression. I am bit anxious though. I'm torn as to have the next one in two weeks or three.

Since I can't drive today I will be continuing with my Christmas cookie baking. I made 6 dozen peanut butter cookies yesterday. Today I will be baking thumb print cookies. I want to make a bunch for Wednesday. I will also make spritz cookies.

I went to Mandy's home last night. We had a nice talk about some gospel principles and stuff that we just felt like talking about. I don't know why I worry about her, she is very strong and happy. Given the crap she's going through I admire and am inspired by her will to keep moving on and that she is truly happy. I need to learn how to do that...move on despite the odds and be happy about it.

We are not Christmas holiday decorators. We don't put up any lights. Last year we bought a Charlie Brown Christmas tree. I like to keep Christmas in my heart.

I am not depressed. I did hear a few of my voices yesterday. I kicked their butts out. One thing I've learned in the last few years is that voices don't like it when I turn the tables on them. No med, ECT, pdoc or therapist has ever been able to get rid of the voices. By me actively pushing them out is the only technique that has helped counter them. I have written much about the voices, something else they don't like. By my sheer will power and determination I am able to stave them off.

Its' almost time to sign off. This needs to get posted. I need to get dressed and wake Margaret.

Live goodly, love deeply, laugh merrily, learn earnestly, listen mightily,

David