Wednesday, April 04, 2012
As I sat here pondering what to write it dawned me on that today was a monumental day in my life. A life changing day. A day some wonder why I would even remember it. How could I forget? Its been on my mind for a few days now. I'm surprised I feel as good as I do right now...I wondered how I'd feel.
32 years ago today, a group of "friends" and I went out partying. It was like any other Friday nig...ht. We had pot and booze and maybe even some pills. We were playing foosball and listening to the jukebox at the gameroom.
We picked up this girl and began to party with her. One thing lead to another and we ended up in the backseat of a car. I don't recall much after that. I don't know where we were or how this happened but I began to hear voices.
The voices began innocently, telling me nice things that no one else did. They flattered me and were very pleasant. My life at that time was pretty crappy....school sucked and home life was at its worst. In short order the voices turned dark and mean. They threatened me and told lies. They cursed me and haunted me night and day.
Why would I remember this day? It was a day that my life began a new path. A journey to a better way of living. This day I started to get away from that lifestyle that was leading me into an abyss with seemingly no way out.
I used to think I was cursed with this "illness", "condition", "disorder" or whatever you wanna call it. Over the years I have changed the way I think about what happened. This night 32 years was my saving grace. It got me out and away from influences that were wrecking every part of my being and started me on a journey of recovery, a rebirth and gave me hope that I never had known before.
I don't know what would've come of me if I hadn't had this event happen. I've imagined many things and none of them were very good. Since I can't go back and change that day, I can only change today, which I welcome with a warm embrace.
Its been a long hard road these last 32 years. I've had some really high points and some extremely low points. I've had parts were I stood still and others where I've moved fast. I've overcome many hurdles and obstacles. I've fallen down and climbed back up. I've stood at the brink wondering what the other side held for me. Sometimes I was blind not knowing the way or the why, but I made it.
32 years later I am a better man. I still have moments of deep depression, I still hear voices....but not as often as I used to. I've learned much about life and how to live it. I have moments of clarity that make me wonder.
What will tomorrow bring? I dunno, but I do know that whatever it brings I will face it. I will move forward just like the last 32 years. I have hopes and dreams.
You can take away my temporal possessions but you will NEVER take away my hopes and dreams.
I wish you all a good day. May blessings warm your soul.
32 years ago today, a group of "friends" and I went out partying. It was like any other Friday nig...ht. We had pot and booze and maybe even some pills. We were playing foosball and listening to the jukebox at the gameroom.
We picked up this girl and began to party with her. One thing lead to another and we ended up in the backseat of a car. I don't recall much after that. I don't know where we were or how this happened but I began to hear voices.
The voices began innocently, telling me nice things that no one else did. They flattered me and were very pleasant. My life at that time was pretty crappy....school sucked and home life was at its worst. In short order the voices turned dark and mean. They threatened me and told lies. They cursed me and haunted me night and day.
Why would I remember this day? It was a day that my life began a new path. A journey to a better way of living. This day I started to get away from that lifestyle that was leading me into an abyss with seemingly no way out.
I used to think I was cursed with this "illness", "condition", "disorder" or whatever you wanna call it. Over the years I have changed the way I think about what happened. This night 32 years was my saving grace. It got me out and away from influences that were wrecking every part of my being and started me on a journey of recovery, a rebirth and gave me hope that I never had known before.
I don't know what would've come of me if I hadn't had this event happen. I've imagined many things and none of them were very good. Since I can't go back and change that day, I can only change today, which I welcome with a warm embrace.
Its been a long hard road these last 32 years. I've had some really high points and some extremely low points. I've had parts were I stood still and others where I've moved fast. I've overcome many hurdles and obstacles. I've fallen down and climbed back up. I've stood at the brink wondering what the other side held for me. Sometimes I was blind not knowing the way or the why, but I made it.
32 years later I am a better man. I still have moments of deep depression, I still hear voices....but not as often as I used to. I've learned much about life and how to live it. I have moments of clarity that make me wonder.
What will tomorrow bring? I dunno, but I do know that whatever it brings I will face it. I will move forward just like the last 32 years. I have hopes and dreams.
You can take away my temporal possessions but you will NEVER take away my hopes and dreams.
I wish you all a good day. May blessings warm your soul.
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Hi Dave,
I admire your courage and the fact that you will not let anything prevent you from achieving your goals and dreams.
Take care and God Bless,
Rene