Hello my name is Rich, my wife was diagnosed with paraniod schizophrenia when she was in her late teens, here is some background; we have been married for 12 years and have been together for 15, no children. I was fully aware of her illness when we were dating and although it was dificult I could live with it. Her first break was in the spring of our first year of marriage, she was so bad she had to have ect's to bring her back to reality. She responded fine and recovered. After her hospitalization she started taking risperdal at a low dose. She was still having paranioa problems with people she worked with and eventually lost her job. She has tried and can not hold down a job. Over the years she has had some backslides that have caused some really bad phsychosis. Ect's have always brought her back and kept her back for very long periods of time, sometimes years in between breaks until 2 years ago. A new delusion is playing out in her mind and it will not go away no matter how much ect or how much meds she is on it keeps on surfacing. I am at the end of my rope. Get counceling I keep hearing from family, you need to be able to talk to someone I keep hearing, you need to be able to cope bla bla bla. What I need is help with my wifes problem. I live in Pennsylvania and so far she has been in and out of 4 different hospitals, had 4 different doctors and so many fucking ects I can't bear to think about it without getting the constant feeling that I am fucking this up. I know I am failing her.  I love her so much seeing her in this pain   seeing her with the blank look on her face or the memory loss  I just can't cope I don't know what to do her meds are not helping we tried seroquel rispedal invega trilofon lithium welbuterin and so many drugs to counter the side affects of the drugs she is on I cant keep them all straight the side affects are horrrible her helth I know is in jepardy. I feel helpless. I need help and advice. My sweet wife is currently in a phych ward her 18th day she has had 7 ects and is on 12 mg trilofon with atavan and inderal to counter the constant leg movements she is having I saw her tonight and she started talking about the same delusions all over again. I am sick to my stomache. I don't even know if this site is popular I googled it and I hope to find help please if there is someone who can help me or at least send me in the right direction please e-mail me I am currently seeking counceling for my self after 15 years only because I am starting to feel like death would be ok if it happened to me she is everything to me I am failing her and I cant live with it