Hi everyone. Just had an outburst yesterday and thought I'd share. I was conflicted at school, as I haven't been able to fit in at all and found only one person to talk to and I really don't like her..haha. So I quit, seeing as my studies have been really lacking as well, I can't seem to focus on the homework and haven't practiced what I've learnt. Anyway, I have been dropping meds every other day lately, and reading a sharepost here I noticed the effects it has had on my life. I would have taken my meds every day, I used to have them in my bathroom closet next to my toothbrush. But, I had a three visitors who were psych students and I didn't want them to see I have a diagnosis so I hid them in my clothes closet.

Then, of course, I forgot taking meds a lot... I've been having many visitors lately, so I haven't put the meds back. I think dropping meds made me lose focus in my life generally, and made me more upset easily. So, when I was standing left alone without a study partner at school yesterday I felt the whole world cave in and just quit. Felt a huge burst of relief, but not looking forward to the what the future will bring. I had a good route laid out, with work lined up in my field of study but now I don't know.. my psychologist said I should go to a day center for some time but I don't really enjoy being there.

What a way to introduce oneself, haha. Anyway this occurence has made me look more strongly into ways of healing myself of this diagnosis, and my nickname is trying out positive thinking as you can see;)

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From your post it wasn't quite clear -- when you say you "quit" did you mean you opted out of the semester, the school year, or your whole intent to continue education at all?  Any of those is a high price to pay for forgetting to take your meds.  But meds are important to those of us with mental illness.  Actually, they shouldn't be kept in a bathroom anyway because the humidity can affect their effectiveness.  Put them in one of those boxes where you fill a box for each day of the week and then place them where they can't be missed, such as on top of your underwear in your dresser drawer.  That way you will take your morning meds.  Then place them under your pillow so you will be reminded to take your night meds.  There are any number of things you can do to assist your memory.  Some people get a watch with an a.m. and p.m. alarm -- just a beep or two and it does the trick.  Of course you know all of this.

What concerns me is in your closing paragraph where you plan to "look into ways of healing [yourself]."  There is no cure for schizophrenia, as you know, but there is certainly healing to a degree (recovery as we call it here) and that is done with medication.

I know you are feeling reluctant at this point to commit yourself to anything, since you have already quit something important to you.  And, by the way, there are certainly times when you must stop doing something that is particularly stressful in order to get better.  You can always go back and finish your education.  I stopped out for a year after 4  yrs, then went back and got my bachelor's degree.  Nothing is wrong with that.  That was many years ago but was valuable instruction in avoiding stresses that make me relapse.  But there is one thing you must commit to -- taking your medication.  You will slide back even further without it and risk delaying recovery.  Even if you decide not go to to the day center, take the medication as prescribed.  Then if you find the medication is not helping enough, work with your doctor to find one that does work.  For me, medication is the foundation on which everything else balances.  If I don't take the meds, the foundation cracks and with it go pieces of my every day life, my personality, my memory, my independence, etc.

Best wishes.  Please come back here and tell us how things go.

Carolyn

MentallyWell

12/ 2/09 8:39pm

I dunno, I believe we can be healed of most illnesses; I have friends who have healed themselves from physical illnesses like fibromyalgia or inguinal hernia, why not mental illness as well. I think it is a definite possibility, and have read that 1/3 of people diagnosed with schizophrenia have full recovery? So there must be possible to get there through some route. Definitely meds is key, I have a total different mental state now compared to not on meds... very happy I live in a day and age where good meds are available for my illness.

 

However, I am sure it is possible to heal this illness, or at least rid myself of the symptoms. 

 

About school, I don't want to get into too much detail, but I have the opportunity to pick up where I left off next year.. so I'm not totally lost, and if I continue my education within a year I won't lose any of the tuition I've paid. 

 

Thank you for the tips on where to keep meds, I keep them now by the bedside so I remember to take them ( i only take in the evening) most of the time, but putting them under the pillow might be even better. I'll try it out and see.