Lost in my own mind

I just want answers about many questions. So I can finally get some peace of mind. I, we, all of us deserve it. It's turned me very bitter. I worked hard roofing for seven years. I worked very hard  as a chef and restaraunt manager for 25 years. Social phobias will destroy your life. After my life, I have a very hard time trusting people. I never asked to be this way. Always deppressed, and anxious. I could be in a room with a thousand people and still be alone. Sometimes I don't even want to go outside anymore. The sun always makes me happy. I despise snow. Thank you for your compassion. I am a very good person. Thank you for listening. Have a nice day.      Ken
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Ken:

 

It sounds like you're feeling a little better.  I'd be very thankful if you are.  I've been somewhere near the place that you are in and where you were.  We need to stick together.  I trully believe you will find others that can understand and that can help.  SchizophreniaConnection is one place you can do this.

 

I wrote a poem once that talked about being alone but ends with a final word of hope.  So here it is -

 

Imaginary Man

 

You may not hear me

When I speak

Because my voice

Is often weak.

 

You may not see me

As I go past

Because my image

Does not last.

 

You may not sense

Emotions vent

Because my passion's

All but spent.

 

And you will not know

When I am gone;

There'll be no void,

I'll leave alone.

 

I am an imaginary man,

Who cannot cope;

Left on my own

With little hope.

 

But God knows where I am

And where I'm bound.

I've lost myself,

And yet I'm found.

 

Write again.

 

Robin

 

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Robin,

 

A a touching, moving poem.

 

So apt.

 

Regards,

Chris

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Its very moving, but to think that a poem can cure all your problems,is a little unfathomable. My life is like a puzzle. I am patiently waiting through the courts to piece together the border.If this does not happen, will I ever really know how to start my journey? I even got a job 2 counties away just to make myself comfortable in my work schedule. The only thing I am asking of the county where I am living, is the counseling and any other medical that I need to make myself happy. I realize none of the people who did this to myself and my family are still employed through the county where I live, but I still can not trust them.I still do not like to leave my house. My comfort zone. I would like more than ever to get my adoption records open so  that I can have some kind of closure to my life. My past has consumed my life.I can't forget when I am awake and when I sleep. I can't forget. I just can't.....    Ken
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Good luck with your job, Ken.

 

Regards,

Chris

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I don't need luck with work. I excel when I have to concentrate on certain things. It's the rest of my life that I need help with.
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