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Who cares for the caregiver?

Written by

Glen

Glen

Sun, November 25, 2007

My wife was recently diagnosed as bipolar, but it has been coming on for the last 12 years.  Started noticing the irritibality and depression, but was told I was making it up.  She tried going to the Ob/gyn, did hormones, but no good.  Finally went to a Psych and was on numerous antidepressants until she flipped out and spent two weeks in the hospital.  I am so tired and burned out.  Have started my own antidepressant.  I feel better, but am tired of being "on call" all the time; ready to respond to the next swing, handle the next emergency.  I pad the budget for when the spending sprees happen, and am nervous when she goes shopping.  I feel like a single parent to the kids, but now with a dysfunctional one thrown in, too.  I go to work so I can have adult conversations without all the emotions and unexpected drama.  While I am pleased with the care my wife has gotten, I am disappointed as to the support the caregiver gets.  I am about at the end of my rope, emotionally.  I don't know if this is typical of a BP caregiver's story, but it is my story, so far...
11/29/07 2:02pm

Glen:

 

I feel for what you're going through.

 

You may want to post on the web site:

 

www.bipolarconnect.com, because you have posted on the schizophrenia web site.  Perhaps we can help you too.

 

However, I'm also sure your wife would benefit from reading the blogs on the bipolar web site.

 

Does she have the awareness of what she needs to do to stay healthy?  The bipolar web sites are friendly and offer hope and solutions.

 

Regards,

Chris

11/29/07 7:50pm
Thanks, Chris. Came across this one first. These sites seem excellent for all of us who are affected, though in different ways. Regards, Glen
12/10/07 9:25pm

 

Hi Glen:

 

I am also a family member with a daughter that has Bipolar condition, so I have some sense of what your going through.  I think it will be very important, if you are to be your wife's caregiver (or not) for you to seek assistance for yourself, otherwise the changes that are taking place in your wife's life and your own can be overwhelming. Do two things: 1) stay in touch with other caregivers on our sister bipolar website as recommended by Christina and, 2) find your local NAMI [National Alliance on Mental Illness] Office and sign up for their next "Family to Family" class. This class is chock full of information about bipolar condition and many other mental illnesses. You own it to yourself to do both of these things.

 

You can find your local NAMI on their website - http://www.nami.org/. If you have trouble finding their office e-mail me at my SchizophreniaConnection website - robin.cunningham1@gmail.com and I will find out where and when the next class will be given in your area.

 

We're all in this together to help each other any way we can.

 

Robin

 

12/11/07 8:33pm

Thank you, Robin.

I have been searching for a while for sources of support.  I finally stumbled on the right search combination and found this site and bipolarconnect.com.

 

I appreciate what you have suggested.  I will check those things out.  Something I have also found for others is to be sensitive to your body and the impact the stress has on your body.  After dealing with my wife's illness for several years, I picked up my own case of depression.  I resisted seeing a doctor because I thought I could handle it, but after several of years, my "batterys" were drained.  I finally bit the bullet and asked for help.  I am now on an anti-depressant and have the energy and positive state of mind to deal with things.

 

Thanks again, and I am glad these sites exist.

Glen

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