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I find it hard to work and hold down a job

By womanc Tuesday, March 24, 2009
I studied counselling at college and graduated, but found it very hard wo work and even get through a full day's work there. I would get tired, get so nervous talking to people and when the phone rang I would jump. I also found it hard to process information and to remember little things and to speak to people. I finished that job before I got fired. Then I took on a job as a nurse, I still got nervous and made the patient's nervous and left that job before something serious happened. I also got a job in an office, a factory. I forgot little things and almost lost my finger at work and the people in the office said I was slack because I found it hard to take initiative and be a self directed employee. People say I am dumb and I am lazy and stupid. I took a job in a box factory and my hand shaked so much that I could not put boxes together and people yelled at me and the weight I gained made it hard to move around quickly. I am taking a break and trying to gain self employment, possibly as a writer. Does anyone else feel this way? I know I have done remarkably well and some people never come as far as I have. I have overcome the worst and realise I have come a long way. Nobody in my life now even realises there is anything wrong with me. My doctor said he does not know anyone with my disease who has come as far as me. I know I should be proud of myself but people who don't know I have it think I am slow and backward. All these thoughts roll around in my head and it is hard to sort them out. I do lots of exercise to escape the anger, and am losing weight I gained because of it. I have to work harder than others to lose weight but am doing it. Please help.
Should I tell my new partner I am schizophrenic
Christina Bruni, Health Guide
3/24/09 11:10am

Hi womanc,

 

I deeply deeply admire your courage and tenacity in the face of this medical condition.

 

First of all I want to give you some cheer about your beautiful recovery and let you know that I think you will do fine, you will continue to do fine.  With your counseling degree, you could be a peer advocate.  E-mail me privately and if you live in New York City, I will give you the name of an agency you can send your resume to.

 

I've written about employment for people with SZ in my SharePosts before, and I will tell you this now and again: Sometimes, it takes awhile to find the right job.  Think of your past jobs as learning experiences, as something you tried that wasn't for you.

 

I also recommend that you continue to write SharePosts here.  You have a lot to offer the world and you will benefit from writing things down.

 

It isn't over by a long shot.  Always keep the faith and hope that what happened yesterday is in the past, what happens today is a fresh start, and tomorrow you can deal with when it comes, not a moment sooner.

 

Cheers,

Christina

 

 

3/24/09 6:28pm

Sounds like you are not afraid to get in there and try, and certainly having a college degree looks great on a resume even if the job you are trying for is not in that field.  I am no longer able to do the accounting/admin asst job I used to do.  And it took some trial and error to find jobs I could do, but they are out there if you make an honest assessment of your skills and your desire to do a certain job.  I did go to a state-sponsored rehabilitation service for a while to try to find a good job and ended up finding my own job as a caregiver for an elderly woman -- not at all what I thought I wanted but it worked out very well.

 

And your doctor is right -- from what you have told us you seem well along in your quest for full recovery.  I, too, have recovered significantly to the point where most people have no idea I have sz.  You can be proud of yourself.  There are some negative symptoms that seem to hang around or pop up at inconvenient times for most of us, so keep hanging in there!

 

Best wishes,

Carolyn

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By womanc— Last Modified: 09/21/10, First Published: 03/24/09