When you were unwell, what did you think

When I first heard voices, I told no one. I didn't trust anyone to keep it a secret. My family was clueless. When the delusions started, my circle of friends knew but said nothing. I thought I was a prophet. After about 2 months of delusions, voices and paranoia I became physically sick. Finally my parents woke up to the fact I needed help.

Today 29 years later my folks will not talk about my diagnosis. They have never said one word about it. They never ask how I am doing with it. It's taboo.

I don't know how they felt back then or now and will never know. Feelings are not a topic of discussion in the family.

Dave

Hello womanc,

My Mom and Dad knew I had a mental problem and my mother drove me to the hospital within 24 hours of my breakdown.  To this day, I remember all the embarassing things I did when I was sick.  I don't talk about them publicly to anyone.  It is your right to keep certain things private.  My parents never thought I was lazy or a slacker, though I know someone else whose family member thought he was lazy when he got sick.

Please be kind and forgive yourself even though right now it may be hard to do.  I know how hard that is because in that last five years it's been hard for me and I felt like I failed, that it was somehow my fault that the symptoms returned.

So I urge you to be kind and gentle with yourself.

We've all gone through what you've gone through.

I hope this helps.

Best regards,

Christina

I have thought for too long about all the hallucinations, delusions, paranoia, and hospitalizations.  During the "incubation period" of my illness, I was living with my husband and although I was feeling horrible, I don't think he had a clue.  But once I was diagnosed, he decided he didn't want to be married to a "mental case" (his words.)

For a long time, my family didn't understand, either.  My mother wanted to understand, but she couldn't -- it was too different from her own experiences.  My brother and sister never mention the subject and that is probably just as well.  It used to bother me that they didn't want to hear my side of the story, but not anymore.  In fact, it is probably a good thing I didn't bare my soul.  It is better for me to think about recovery and moving forward than to dwell on the past.

Carolyn