I went to this hairdresser who asked did I work When I said no, said 'lady of leisure' and went on to say she had been working hard and working since she was 15 and because of work she finds it hard to even do her shopping. When she said this, I felt bad despite having a good reason not to work. Why are people so nasty when others don't work and why do they ask so many questions?
Hi womanc,
You certainly don't have to be working. That is your right.
My suggestion for this type of question [do you work?] is to respond, "I've come into an inheritance and I'm taking some time off."
This kind of lie I feel is acceptable whereas the original question is just plain rude. Of course you probably wanted to scream, "Shut up and just cut my hair!" You're not paying her to be sarcastic. And you're certainly not tipping her to be snide, either.
You could also say, "I'd rather not talk about work in my off-hours" and leave it at that to give the impression that maybe you do work.
Or you could be honest and say, "I'd rather not talk about work." That is your right. You don't have to elaborate and after that, if someone pushes you to clarify, you can assert "I'm not going to talk about it right now." If they push, use this "broken record" technique [outlined in self-help guides, by the way] to assert yourself without giving up personal details. Find a different way to say the same thing, or simply change the subject with something like, "I'd rather not talk about myself. How long have you been working?"
Often, asserting ourselves is hard when we have an MI and are sensitive to other people's comments. They may not intend to come across that way yet we interpret their comments in that way.
It seems to me like the hairdresser could've been a miserable person and felt she had the right to unload on you her problems. It was not right for her to do this. Everything about what she did was out of line.
Regards,
Christina
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The hairdresser must not have known your reason for not working. Working is fun at first but then it begins to drag on when it is always there waiting for you. This is especially hard if you don't make enough money to meet all of your basic needs. There are a lot of people that hardly make enough for what they need. Then, to see someone that doesn't work, it makes it seem unfair to them. The reality is that they should be glad that they still can work but they are often stressed and tired from working so much. The cost of living in some places is very high so it is back to work they go with the hopes of being able to retire comfortably.