After my fall into addiction I am going to recomitt. I went 6 1/2 weeks. My goal is to best that. 7 weeks is my goal. Today I will start to sort out why I gave in. Tomorrow I will start over. I am not the kind of preson that doesn't let obstacles hold me back. I stumbled but I am going to go back up and improve on what I didn't do.

Today for Mental Health Month the CTRC is having a relationship panel discussion. There will be three couples on the panel that will talk about their marriages. Margaret and I will be on the panel. I am excited about this. It is so cool that Margaret said she'd be willing to do it. Now she will get a "look" inside my world. It starts at 10 and goes to noon. I will let you know how it went.

Speaking of the CTRC, NYS has consumer surveys. These are designed to see where things need improvement and where things are going well. They help the state to channel money to services. I have been helping the outpatients fill them out. It's nice to sit and chat with them. I hope that I can continue. They have positions available. I don't want one. I feel that if I were paid then i wouldn't be spending much time with the outpatients. I am an equal. Getting paid would interfere with that. I know for myself that staff just don't REALLY understand, therefore, I would go to a peer before I'd go to a staff.

Since I've been going to the CTRC I have gained a better look at life. I am inspired by the people there...I'm gonna call them "Starfish." It started slow and my fear held me back. My patience has been tested and I am coming out the other end. Slowly I am getting more confident and my self-esteem is growing. I look forward to going there. This job is the best one I have ever had.

Yesterday I was at the state hospital doing the surveys with the Starfish. The hospital sits on a hill (it is affectionally called the "HILL" which looks over the valley. It is a pretty site when the sky is clear. I love looking out there. Next time I'm gonna take some pictures. I had a friend, who was a patient, whom I would take to AA meetings. When I brought him back we'd park looking over the valley and talk. Ahh the good times.

I will close for now. I reread this several times and now I am satisfied with it.

"NO ONE EVER BECAME POOR BY GIVING."

David