For many years I never knew what love felt like. I thought I had. I had several women friends and was married for a time. I thought that was love. The women and wife were objects. I used them sex, security, and to stop the loneliness. I never felt liked they loved me. I know I didn't love them. I yearned for love. To have that warm feeling inside me. To be overcome with joy and compassion. I knew it exsisted, why couldn't I grasp it? What prevented me from being truly happy? Will I ever find that special someone? That one person who would rock my world. The one I would truly say I love you to. Those were things I asked and told myself. Then one day at work a woman came into the Community Store and asked if I was going to the Christmas Party. I said no and that I had no wife or girlfriend. Her eyes lit up and a smile burst forth. She asked if I'd go with her.. I said YES! The night of the party I was very nervous. I asked her to dance. It was a slow dance. ( I could never dance the fast stuff). She put her head on my shoulder and oh what a feeling. Her head felt so good there, like it was meant to be there. We were the talk of the party. We started dating. I was feeling good about myself and her. When we were away from each other I thought about her constantly. Then Sadie Hawkins Day came. I checked my e-mails and in it was a marriage proposal. She said that she didn't want to wait four years for another Sadie Hawkins Day. WOW!! I e-mailed her back and asked her if she'd marry me. She said yes. We set a date, May 13th. It was the greatest day of my life. I felt love. I was loved. I knew it was love because there were feelings inside me I'd never had before. That was almost 8 years ago. I still feel the same burning love and passion that I felt 8 years prior. It's such a wonderful thing to know that she loves me unconditionally. She's been my rock, my soft place to land. She's my constant companion and confidant. She's been there through the bad times and the good times. I can't imagine life without her.
