I haven't written a post in over a week. Wow! Where does the time go? I titiled this post ramblings because that what this gonna be..ramblings. It's early morning and the voices are active. The music keeps changing.
Alot has been happening. I have two speaking gigs in June. I'm excited about those. I got a call from the state hospital and I may be able to get more gigs there.
This past week has been different. I've been doing alot of looking ahead (instead of the past),and living for the now. It feels good to able to let go of things. In AA they taught me that. I just forgot to apply it. "Let go let God". It's comforting to know that I don't always have to be the driver.
Father's Day is coming up and I realized something. I am the man I am because of him. My father is a terrible man. I hate to say that but it's true. He's an alcoholic, unloving, insensitive, verbally and mentally abusive, unsupportive. The list goes on. Some things I still hang onto, but I'm working on it. I realized from a very early age that I wasn't gonna be any of those things. For many years I didn't do anything to stop it. So in a sense I became him. It dawned on me one day in an AA meeting that all those years I drank I was dad. That is why I don't drink. I became the opposite of what my dad is. I'm a good, proud, productive, loving, caring, sensitive indvidual.
Take care,
David
