Let go let God. Those words have been running in my mind for a week now. I deal with many issues of the family. I call my family the family because they aren't much of one. Anyway I've been looking for ways to let go.. to forgive them. I struggle alot with this issue, more than any other I face. I wonder what I would feel when I finally accept 100% and let go? I've been thinking about God and my relationship with Him. I'm searching for spirituality. I'm afraid to turn it over to God. I don't wanna be let down again. My faith isn't very strong. I'm a hands on guy. If I can't feel it...it don't exsist. I know I'm way off base in that thinking, but these are things that I think and feel. I need to get back to the Higher power part of it. I feel different then I did 10 years ago. I have the ability and a wider range of emotions never felt by me. Is this God way of guiding me? I don't know squat about God or spirituality. June of this year I spoke at this place, afterwards a man and I were talking. I told him I didn't have any spirituality. He said from what I heard you alot of it. HMMM. So that's what it feels like. Since then I've been looking for the Spirit. Trying to define it. What it means to me. Put it into words. That's my work. Sorry I got lost there for a bit. I tend to wander all over the place. I've been thinking of contacting my clergy to discuss my failure of forgiviness towards the family. I haven't been to church in alot of years. It scares me thinking about it. Maybe there's something he can suggest to help me let go. I dunno what I'm gonna do. I will take some more time to think on it.
