Yesterday I faced my biggest demon...my brother, the beater. This is something that I talked about doing for some time. He showed at my door. At first I wasn't gonna do anything. I wanted to run and hide. My wife, Margaret, said "why don't you get it over with?" My anxiety level was at it's peak. ...
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relationships
DCROY9633
Friday, September 12, 2008 at 01:04 PMre: relationships
tinker
Friday, September 12, 2008 at 07:53 PMI really find that confrontation on my part is a waste of time. I've tried with my kids, and my daughter confronted me in such a way a few years back that I could NEVER FORGIVE HER. The most important thing in my life is to handle my problems with grace and wisdom. Forgiveness. I am not the greatest with this. I'd like to get ahold of my x and reem him a new personality. When it gets right down to it, for me, I am not going to give them the satisfaction of acting "crazy". You see, they give me no merit no matter what I do, so why give them another excuse? I just cut em loose and let it go. I am better off for it.
Forgiveness. Well, I've found a trick so I don't make a "crazy" out of myself. I pray that they get everything they deserve. It can work two ways. They have a crappy life. Or they get better and nicer and more understanding. Either way I get my satisfaction. They are either punished, or rewarded so they aren't so miserable they have to hurt every one around them. Either way I don't give them FREE RENT in my head or heart any more. I am learning to see "WHO ARE U DEALING WITH?"
By the way, I went to the wedding, and I haven't written or spoken to my daughter since. Even if she calls I'll do unto her what she does unto me. "Sorry I will call back, I am busy." And never call back!
Sincerely
Tinkerdel
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Peace
Christina Bruni
Saturday, September 13, 2008 at 10:23 AM
My relationship with my brother has not been particularly bad, but it is not good either. He has said he doesn't want to know anything about sz, which hurt. He thought maybe I was just acting out to get attention. He sends me jokes and cartoons about people who take gov't "handouts" (I get SSDI.) But he seems oblivious to it all.
My relationship with my sister is different. We were always very close until she divorced in 2006. Then, everything changed. It is as if she became another person. She is critical, fault-finding, always correcting what I say, argumentative, etc. I got to where I couldn't stand it anymore and finally confronted her about it. To her, she had a good excuse: she had a lot on her mind. But that is of her own doing to a great extent. She over-extends herself on all fronts all the time. Nevertheless, I did feel it was right for me to say something in an effort to resurrect our friendship.
Later, I did apologize to my sister for the WAY I confronted her, but told her what I had said was true. So she continued to be just the way she had been the last 2 years. I don't understand it -- I wish I could. But sometimes it is necessary to tell family members and others what is on our minds or what is bothering us. I usually just hide my feelings and the hurt.
You were right to discuss the matter with your brother. I'm glad you did. Doesn't it feel good to get it out in the open?
Carolyn
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