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Tuesday, December, 02, 2008

A set up ahead.

by  David Robbins
Sunday, September 28, 2008
David Robbins
David Robbins
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David Robbins is a normal SZA

I have been diagnosed with schizoaffective disorder. I speak at...

David Robbins

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It's almost October. The leaves are changing color. I admit this is a beautiful time of year. My wife's daughter said the Pocono Mtns are breath taking. I have to wear long pants and a light jacket when I go outside. I'm worried about the cold weather. I dread the winter. It means I can't go anywh...

  1. Lite deprivation/depression...common
    tinker
    Sunday, September 28, 2008 at 04:12 PM

    Don't feel alone David..my sister and I both have what we call sunlight deprivation in the fall and winter months.  It has been studied and the last time I read about it the study said "humans need aproximately 4 (?) hours of direct sunlight in the eye to be healthy."  That's sort of a memory and I am not exactly sure if it is exact, but it IS  sort of a thang I read.  To know possibly WHY I get so depressed in the winter helps.  To tell the truth that is one of the main reasons I moved to Florida!  I can take walks in the woods and parks without the insects.  I can do things to prepare for the forward impulse of spring.  Diggin the soil, composting, and doing the things I absolutely can't in the heat.  These things are less strenuous.

     

    I also feel a sort of ending or death of another time of my favorite season.  The leaves fall, the smell of damp and musty molds and compost of the living matter decomposing.  Almost like a burial.  I have to really think about the best of the change.  The cool air that lasts only a few short months here.  The climate is dryer, and the plants get to rest.  I get to rest.  I don't have to mow, trim, clean, and more.  This is to be the time of rest.  Winter.

     

    I haven't been hospitalized for over fifteen years now.  Not for lack of needing it, but for sheer power of will, much like you will the voices to silence?!  I think and speak out loud the things I live for.  Peace, graditude, joy, awareness, success, kindness, compassion, and above all HOPE.  Depression is a position of hopelessness for me, so I MUST call up all the hope whether I believe in it or not.

     

    You have support.  You have all the tools.  I have them, and we can share them.  I get out of myself and share what is SUPPOSED to work, and oddly enough, it begins to work.  I share with others, fight self-pity with graditude, count on my friends and listen to their reminders of what works for me, take meds religiously, and live in honesty and awareness.

     

    You have my understanding, and compassion. 

    sincerely

    tinker/dellea

     

     

     

     


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