It's almost October. The leaves are changing color. I admit this is a beautiful time of year. My wife's daughter said the Pocono Mtns are breath taking. I have to wear long pants and a light jacket when I go outside. I'm worried about the cold weather. I dread the winter. It means I can't go anywhere very much. I get cabin fever every year. Usually around the first of the year my depression abounds. I've been hospitalized in January for the last 4 years. I know I'm setting myself up. I do it alot. My goal is too stay out of the hospital this January. Simple goal right? NOT! I'm gonna need the help from the online sites I frequent. I have more support this year than any other. Journaling has opened a whole new medium for me. Writing helps soo much. I can see what I think. This outlet is a great way of getting stuff out of my head. I'm hoping that with your help I can stay out of General Hospital. I will continue with my bi-weekly ECT treatments. I was getting ECT once a month, but I went back to every two weeks. Anyway I need to stop obessing about the next few weeks. Take it one day at a time.
Thought redirecting ahead:
Voice update: I woke up at 6 am today. I fell asleep last night around 7 pm. When I woke today there was no music. BUT! There were dark voices and dark thoughts. The good news is that I'm able to push the voices out. I think the opposite of the dark thoughts. When I hear a dark one, I tell myself that it isn't so. I shut it out, and replace it with good thoughts. I will not allow myself to get sucked into the darkness.
Live, love, laugh, learn, listen,
David
