The lowest point

I went through a similair expereince but not quite as bad. My experience was one I brought on myself and my actions caused the nurses in the unit to put me in restraints. The first time I was hospitalized I kept going to the nurses station asking them questions like when would my doctor come or when visiting were to begin. I was constantly bugging the nurses and kept them from doing their job so after warning me numerous times I had to be put in retraints. Another time while in a different hospital I kept getting out of bed and going to the nurses station again numerous times so they too had to put me in restraints.

While some reading my post may feel putting me in restraints was cruel and unusual punishment but honest to God I feel I brought it upon myself.

Hello Dave,

Your sensitivity, so typical of someone with schizophrenia, is apparent in how you thought the bones belonged to a body.  The beating and the incident and the hospital stay have stayed with you all these years.  You are right in that the hardest hurdle is the worst of all.  Each of us diagnosed and living with schizophrenia has such painful stories.  Your courage and honesty are admirable.  I believe you touch the lives of more people than you will ever know.

That was 1997, right?  Twelve years.  A lot can change in 12 years and a lot has changed for you for the better.  That was possibly rock bottom for you.  When a person hits rock bottom, the only way out is up.  The only way out is through.

You have also been resilient and were able to bounce back stronger than you were before.  We do not know what we have inside ourselves until we are tested.  You passed the test.

Each day we live is another day we get to write a different ending to our story.

I wish you to have peace now.

And I'm certain that maybe you do.

Have a good night.

Regards,

Christina

What gets me is the willingness or desire of the one affected by sz to try to convince the doctors and others of their delusions. This shows rather clearly that it is not intentional and for some reason the person is believing things that they would not or should not believe. There is always a need to disassociate one's self from what your own mind is telling you but this is particularly true for the person affected by sz. Then there is the problem afterward of being able to trust what your mind is telling you. It is common for the person to resign themselves to allowing other people to think and make decisions for them because of the feeling of inadequacy that results. It takes a long time to get back the confidence to be able to make your own decisions again and that only if you are no longer having delusions and hallucinations

Dave's, your determination is inspiring.