I have told the story of my two parking meter incidents before. I learned an important lesson from them. When I spend too much time looking over my shoulder at the past I get hurt. I don't wanna hurt anymore, so I focus on ways to deal with past issues. I don't want to foget them I just wanna deal with them. I think I'm doing a good job of "weeding my garden."
I learned just today that I need to stay in the now. I was getting all upset over winter approaching that I forgot about autumn. I also forgot about today, this very moment.
Looking ahead and behind come natural for me. I forgot that important AA lesson "one day at a time." I will try to live here and now. Ralph Waldo Emerson wrote:
"What lies behind us and what lies ahead of us are tiny matters compared to what lives within us."
I called my parents yesterday. I actually had a nice conversation with my father. After I hung up, my brother Mike called. He wanted our parents' phone number. I told him that I would come over and call mom and dad on my cell. Mike has a tendency to lose things. I went over and Mike was so happy. He smiled and beamed. It was so nice to see him happy. After all these months I found out what would make him feel good. He looked good and I told him that. From now on when I go see him, I will let him use my phone. I'm glad that he was happy. I never thought of that before. I told yall I'm slow.
The voices I heard when I woke up this morning are gone. No music this morning either.
I made Christina's recipe for Key Lime pie. I haven't tried it yet. It had to set over night in the fridge. The Peanut Butter cookies were good. I took 4 of the mini apple pies over to my daughter. She wasn't home so I gave them to her neighbor.
I guess I've rambled enough for now.
Have peace in your hearts. Smile and warm the lives of those of don't have a smile.
Live, love, laugh, learn, listen,
Dave
When I used to make a big deal about my weight, sometimes I blamed God for having made it a curse. You have to eat in order to survive, yet you have to "eat sensibly" and not too much and not too little in order to maintain a safe weight. In some ways humans must live between narrow parameters -- the mix of oxygen must be just right, we can't live outside a certain band of ambient temperatures, our own body temperature must stay right around 98.6 all our lives. Just a degree or two off, and we know we are sick. The sun burns us easily, the cold freezes us easily. Yet, within these narrow parameters we are given so much to enjoy. Tulips, a sunrise, a good book, the band of sand between the ocean and the palm trees, a kiss.
When she was a child, my mom knew a blind girl her age. She was blind from birth. One morning as her mother was breaking eggs into a skillet, the girl suddenly regained her sight. The first thing she was was the bright yellow egg yolks and it took her breath away. Yellow became her favorite color. So food feeds us more than filling our stomach. It treats our eyes, our tongues, our noses; it tests our ingenuity, it becomes a political statement, it helps define our ethnicity, it becomes a comfort during stress, it reminds us of good times with family and friends. Food is so much more than a calorie or a mass in a measuring cup.
When my father was dying of Alzheimers and ulcerative colitis, the only thing he wanted to eat was chicken broth. And the nursing home refused him this "special diet." So day after day, either my mother or I would cook Campbells Chicken Noodle Soup, because what he liked was the broth from that soup. Then we would drain off the liquid and take it to him and feed it to him. That became a time of great closeness between me and my dad. We had never been close before.
When my grandmother was a child, she once swallowed a button with large button holes. It stuck in her throat and all the nourishment she could get was what would drip through the eyes of that button. She began to waste away. Everyone began to call her "Tincy," a name that followed her the rest of her life. One day as her mother made gingerbread, my grandmother begged for a piece. It was a tough decision. Would the child choke to death on the gingerbread? On the other hand, could she give it to her other children and deny it to my grandmother? So, her mother gave her a piece and when she swallowed, it pushed the button on down.
There are so many different "food tales" I could go on all day. One of my favorite things to do is bake cookies and take them to people I know and people I would like to get to know, like a next door neighbor who is very unfriendly and is a single mom with one child. I hope it brightens her day and renews her faith in humanity when I take her cookies. She won't answer the door, I just have to put them in a bag and hang them there next to the mail box where they won't be missed. I don't want a "thank you," I just want to spread a little human warmth and cheer.
Carolyn
Dear Carolyn,
What a beautiful comment to read on this Sunday morning.
Food: something that so many of us take for granted when we stuff it down our mouths without thinking what we're doing. The girl who could not see who suddenly had sight and could love the yellow eggs: that is like the rest of us who don't see what's right in front of us until we have an awakening.
The art of seeing is the one true gift when it comes to having empathy towards others.
We must see who they are and accept them as they are.
And as you said food can bring people together.
I had this wild dream of appearing on the Rachael Ray show and cooking a simple recipe and taking about my recovery. I wonder if somehow this could ever happen. I would like it to happen even though I doubt it will.
I'll see. When my book's published maybe I'll approach her.
Enjoy your day.
Regards,
Christina